


Home is Where the Heart Is

by CharredLips



Category: My Chemical Romance
Genre: Banter, Current era, Fluff, Fluff and Humor, Friendship, Friendship/Love, Holidays, Humor, Idiots in Love, Light Angst, M/M, Mild Language, Mutual Pining, Romantic Friendship
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-01
Updated: 2021-01-01
Packaged: 2021-03-10 19:33:50
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 21,474
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28472439
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/CharredLips/pseuds/CharredLips
Summary: The MyChem boys spend a week away together to celebrate the holidays, after a rough year apart.
Relationships: Frank Iero/Gerard Way
Comments: 18
Kudos: 24
Collections: Have Yourself A Merry Little Fic Exchange





	Home is Where the Heart Is

**Author's Note:**

  * For [meowfrnk](https://archiveofourown.org/users/meowfrnk/gifts).



> To Meowfrnk: I hope this story meets some of what you had in mind. I'm truly sorry if it's not what you wanted. I tried, very hard, but It kind of got away from me. I hope you will still find some enjoyment in it. 
> 
> To anyone who reads this: I apologize in advance for all the mistakes in this work. I wasn't able to get it beta read in time.

December 26th. Usually, this is a semi lazy day. A day for resting after the hectic and exhausting hustle and bustle of Christmas. After all the shopping, decorating, wrapping, cooking, assembling toys, and "testing" those toys with the children they were gifted to; a little bit of sleeping in is a well-deserved, and much needed, luxury.

However... for Gerard, Mikey, and Ray, it wasn't a luxury they had. Instead, they were up at 4am (4:45 in Mikey's case, after he hit snooze 8 times) to pack and get ready for their 8am flight. 

"You're finally awake, Sleeping Beauty? It's not like we have anywhere to be today." Gerard teases Mikey, when he finally graces him with his presence at the coffee maker. 

"I pack the lightest. And I don't need an hour just to get ready, like you do. I'm not trying to impress someone today." Mikey raises his eyebrows suggestively, as he lovingly teases back. 

"It does not take me an hour! And besides, he's not going to be impressed either way" Gerard says, "Not that I am trying to anyway." He adds on quickly.

"Whatever you say, Gee." Mikey replies, making sure Gerard sees his over-dramatic eye roll. "So that means you won't need more primping time before we can go? That would be a first." 

"Do you think I should?" Gerard asks genuinely, like Mikey wasn't just being his usual pesky younger brother self. Mikey almost feels bad now. For all his teasing he does know that this is kind of a big deal for Gerard. Even though he shouldn't be this nervous. 

"No, dumbass, I was just busting your balls. Seriously. Relax. It's going to be fine. We've done things like this before. You're making it a big deal for no reason." Mikey says, hoping it will reassure Gerard a bit. 

But knowing Gerard, it's not going to do anything to ease his anxious thoughts. While he possibly heard him physically, Mikey's not sure Gerard even registered his answer, too busy thinking of 100 hypothetical scenarios of how the day could go badly. That's just how Gerard works. Mikey is used to it, but he still wishes there was something he, or anyone, could do to give him a break from the constant battle in his own mind. 

"But really, Gee, do you need help with packing or anything before we go? We should probably book the Uber soon, don't want to take any chances if the security lines are long or something." Mikey says. 

"No, I don't think so. If I forgot anything, I'll just have to do without it or try to buy what I need. None of my other stuff is here, remember?" Gerard says, reminding Mikey they're at his house. 

Before Mikey can even get out a "Oh, duh, sorry", Gerard continues. "But thanks again for letting me and B come over yesterday. I know you guys have your own family traditions and stuff, but it was nice for B to have more people than just me. I was really worried about how this year would be, with the separation, but it was amazing. I hope Kristin knows how much I appreciate it." 

"It was Christmas, where else would you be? You think I would let you and B spend Christmas alone? Come on. We were thrilled to have you. You would have been invited anyway, like every year." Mikey says, thinking how ridiculous it is that Gerard would think he'd ever not be welcome in their home or celebration.

"And there would have been more people here, if it was safer, y'know. We didn't want to invite mom and dad and Kristin's family, and put people at risk with a large gathering. But you saw the pictures from last year. It was a full house." Mikey says.

"Yeah, you're right. It looked like a blast. Sorry we couldn't come last year. Lynz wanted us to host some of her friends." Gerard says, looking down, because he knows how Mikey feels about all that. 

"I understand Gee, you don't have to feel bad or explain to me. I'm just glad things are getting better. You deserve that, you always have."

"Thanks, Mikey. Thanks for always being there for me. And for never saying 'I told you so', it means a lot to me." Gerard says. 

"As if I would do that. Come on. You know I give you a hard time, but I'd never actually cut you down like that. I'm always here for you. And for B, of course. Always."

Mikey can see that Gerard is going to get emotional, now, and decides to shift the mood a bit. "Okay, less heart-to-heart, more grabbing suitcases. Are you going to wake B to say goodbye?" 

"Ha! I asked her if she wanted me to last night, and she said we could just do it then. Her exact words were: 'Please don't wake me up at 5am for that. Bye, dad. I love you, I'll see you in a week.'" 

"Not to get sappy again, but thank you for letting her stay while we’re gone. And Kristin, too, of course. She's the real saint in all this. I didn't want to try to send her to Lynz during all this, and she's staying with Frances right now, anyway. With Covid and all, I feel much safer knowing she's here." Gerard says. 

"Seriously Gee, Kristin is thrilled to have her. And the girls are so excited. They love B. They think she's so cool because she's older. And she's great with them. Everything's good. If anything it's a help to Kristin, with me not here to help with the girls." 

"Well I still appreciate it." Gerard says.

"Okay. I'm not waking the girls to say good-bye, either. Kristin would kill me for getting them up this early. I'm booking the Uber now. Is that cool?" Mikey says. 

"Yeah. I'm as ready as I'll ever be." Gerard answers, nerves already ramping up again. 

A few minutes later they are in the Uber and on their way to the airport. 

Ray is already at the airport, since he didn't hit snooze multiple times or have a crisis over what to wear. He's responsible like that. And that's what he tells Mikey in the text he just sent asking (but already knowing) why they aren't there to meet him yet.  
  
“Ray’s mothering us already.” Mikey tells Gerard, who is busy biting his poor fingernails until they’re on the verge of bleeding. “See, this is the same as every other time. Nothing’s changed. Stop. Worrying.” Mikey finishes, batting Gerard’s hand away from his mouth.  
  
“Everything has changed, Mikey. Too much time has passed, I’ve made too many mistakes. It can’t be the same. Not after everything.”  
  
“He wouldn’t be coming if he was still hung up on all that stuff, Gee.” Mikey says. “Speaking of, why are the three of us going to Jersey when he could have just come to LA?”  
  
“You know how his immune system is, Mikey!” Gerard scolds “He doesn’t need to be flying. Besides, you know he prefers Jersey to L.A. To anywhere, for that matter.”  
  
“You always did spoil him.” Mikey teases, fondly.  
  
“It’s not spoiling! It’s just common sense. You read into everything.” Gerard huffs. He knows he’s being overly defensive, but he doesn’t want things to be awkward with Frank, and Mikey being so keyed in to how Gerard still feels isn’t going to help. Mikey is never subtle.  
  
Mikey is ready to tell him he’s not fooling anyone, but they arrive at the airport, so he decides to let it go. For now. 

Once they get inside, Mikey starts looking around for Ray. Gerard is still just thinking up all the bad hypotheticals, and trailing behind Mikey. They find Ray waiting near the line for security.  
  
“Finally!” is the first word Ray speaks to them. “I’ve been here for half an hour already”, he complains.  
  
“You’re the psychopath that thought we should book the 8am flight” says Mikey. “A 2pm flight would’ve been just as good.”  
  
“We haven't all been together in a year” Ray justifies. “Exactly” says Mikey, “So a few more hours would have been nothing.”  
  
“Well I figured we were all anxious to see each other. Some of us more than others.” Ray says, with a smirk at Gerard. _Oh no. Not Ray too_ , Gerard thinks. He’s so screwed.  
  
They get through security quickly, and only a couple people seemed to notice who they are, so that was good. While waiting to board, they pass the time by catching up on their recent life events. It’s small talk mostly. The three of them keep in touch a lot, so they pretty much already know the main points. 

The next thing they know, they're seated on the plane. Mikey and Gerard together, Ray across the aisle. They might not indulge the "rock star lifestyle" the way some other stars do, but they certainly don’t miss cramped economy seats.  
  
Ray already has his eye mask on. He’ll be out in 5 minutes or less. Gerard has always envied how Ray can sleep on every flight, and Frank and Mikey can sleep almost anywhere. Gerard is the opposite.  
  
Gerard just wants to take something that will knock him out until the plane lands. He hates flying as it is, and he can’t stand all the nerves. He gets the Ambien from his bag and takes double his usual dose. Mikey throws him a sideways glance.  
  
“Don’t, Mikey. I’m fine. Seriously. My doctor approved this and I am being careful. I promise. I just- I need it.”  
  
“Just.. Be careful. I know you are, but I care about you so I just need to say it. Be careful.” Mikey says. It’s not that he doesn’t trust Gerard, he just knows how hard Gerard has worked, and he knows how easy it is to get lost in it.  
  
“I know you hate flying, but I know you’re stressing about seeing Frank too. And you can pretend not to be, but we both know it’s true. And the thing is, that’s absurd. He’s been a sucker for you since day one. You guys had a hard time. You got through it. Things are good. Nothing has changed.”  
  
“But with the s-” Gerard tries, but Mikey cuts him off.  
  
“But now that there’s nothing standing in the way, there’s no more halfway, no more excuses. Is that why you’re really scared?” Mikey asks.  
  
“Of course not!” Gerard answers instantly. “I’ve wanted this for so long. But just because I finally came to my senses, that doesn’t mean he’ll still want that, too. I hurt him. Yeah we had a thing after that, but it was different because we both knew that’s all it could be. But now I could be expecting more than he ever wants to give me again. I don’t deserve anything from him, I never did. And he’s happy now. Without me. He deserves to be happy.”  
  
There's so much Mikey wants to say to that. But the first thing he has to say is: “You deserve to be happy, too. Your mistakes don’t change that. You deserve to be happy, Gee.”  
  
Gerard looks like he appreciates the sentiment, but he doesn’t believe a word of it. So nothing has changed. Same old Gerard.  
  
“But really, Gee, I think he’s been pretty clear about what he wants. His albums. His actions. I was at rehearsals with you both, remember? I saw how he acts with you. He never misses a chance to be affectionate. And you can’t miss the way he still looks at you. He looks at you the same way you look at him, when you think no one’s looking.”  
  
A peaceful expression begins to wash over Gerard’s face. Maybe Mikey’s comment had an effect on him. But the Ambien definitely did, because before he can reply, or listen to any more of Mikey’s wisdom, he’s leaning his head over and out like a light.  
  
Mikey’s just glad that Gerard is getting some rest. He knows the real reason Gerard was so awake this morning is because he couldn’t sleep. His insomnia is always a problem, but it’s so much worse when his anxiety gets involved.  
  
With Gerard and Ray asleep, Mikey has no reason not to take a little snooze himself. He’s so thankful that he’s always been able to sleep virtually anywhere. _But if Ray had booked a flight at a decent hour, I wouldn’t need sleep right now._ He still complains in his mind, before settling in.  
  
About 5 hours later they are landing at Newark International. Ray and Mikey wake up, feeling well rested. Mikey was expecting to wrestle Gerard out of the figurative coma he would be in, from the sleeping pills. Instead, however, he found Gerard already wide awake (if you could call it that), once again assaulting his poor fingernails.  
  
Mikey’s heart aches for his brother. He knows how much he’s been struggling lately. He just wishes he could help him. For now, he settles on placing his hand on Gerard’s shoulder, reassuringly, and grabbing Gerard’s bags for him as they exit the plane. Ray notices the gesture and the state of Gerard, so he takes one of Mikey’s to make it easier on him. 

As soon as they got outside, Mikey set the bags down to book the Uber, while Gerard went for the cigarette he desperately needed. The first drag of nicotine was enough to calm his nerves, for a moment. He closed his eyes and inhaled deeply, letting the sensation wash through him. 

But the relief was short lived. He was shaken from his moment of peace, all too quickly, by the realization that it is freezing cold. He knew it would be, in theory, he grew up here after all. But knowing and feeling are different. It’s all different now. It’s been too long since Gerard has felt the New Jersey winter. He’s older, and the world is so much harsher than it was back then.  
  
When the Uber arrives, Gerard is sure to grab his own bags, this time, and one of Mikey’s, too. He’s tired of Mikey having to act like the older brother. It’s not fair to him.

The whole ride to the cabin Gerard is quivering. His mind is racing. He just needs to get out of the car. But the longer he’s in the car, the longer he can put off seeing Frank. Maybe the car isn’t so bad. Except that it is, and he needs to get out. Out of his head? That’s what he really needs. But they’ve arrived at the cabin, so he can, at least, accomplish one of those.  
  
Gerard tips the driver, substantially. He’s always generous with his gratuities, it’s one of his favorite parts of having done well for himself. But around the holidays he goes big with it. It should give him a little sense of joy, to know he likely made that person’s day (or month), but right now it doesn’t even register.  
  
He does still tell them “You’re very welcome. Happy holidays”, in response to their very enthusiastic declarations of gratitude, but he isn’t able to register the magnitude of the deed right now. 

When he steps out, he is still vibrating with nervous energy (and sleep deprivation). He grabs his and Mikey’s bags once more, and heads up the long walkway to the door. He’s the first to the door, Mikey and Ray still replying to their driver’s “thank you's".  
  
Ray has the keys, because of course Ray is the one to have them. So all Gerard can do is wait. He admires the cottage for a moment. It is picture perfect. Large, but nothing absurd, with big windows on the 2nd floor. The red shutters, and black balcony railings, are so pretty against the white exterior. The snowy rooftop making it look just like a postcard.  
  
He lights another cigarette, and tries his best to actually enjoy it. At least he won’t feel guilty this time, for having smoke on his clothes, that he might pass on to Bandit. He really needs to quit. Again. But not today. 

“Gerard, you made the driver cry. Tears of happiness.” Mikey says, as he makes his way up to the porch. “They told me to thank you again. Said you saved them from eviction. Their partner has been out of work because of the pandemic.”  
  
“It was nothing.” Is all that Gerard replies. And, while he is preoccupied right now, he never thinks much of his little gifts. He feels it’s the least he can do.  
  
“Wait, it’s messed up they would be evicted during all this. That is so heartless.” Gerard replies once Mikey’s full statement has registered. “I should have given them more.” Leave it to Gerard to still beat himself up, even when he’s just helped someone.  
  
“You did a good thing, Gee. You helped someone, just feel good about it. You’ve got to stop thinking that what you do isn’t good enough. You can’t be everything for everyone, all the time.” Mikey tells him as they all finally make their way inside.

Inside is immaculate. Completely spotless. It is furnished, of course, but it looks like no one has ever been inside. It doesn’t look uninviting, though. It still has a remarkable warmth about it. Cozy. The fluffy carpets and large, plush couch make it look very homey. 

‘It will be nice to spend the week here’, they all think. Well, mostly. Gerard knows the cottage will be a wonderful setting, but he’s still not sure this week will be nice at all. But instead of dwelling on it, he tries to shift his energy into distractions.  
  
First and foremost, they won’t survive the week without food, and there is none in this place. He quickly sets up his laptop to start a grocery delivery order.  
  
“What are you doing? You’re not going to work while we’re here, are you?” Mikey asks.  
  
“I’m not working, I’m just ordering groceries.” Gerard answers.  
  
“Why don’t you just wait until Frank gets here with his car and go to the store yourself?” Mikey asks.  
  
“Because there is nothing here, and I am not going to ask him to borrow the car, or run errands, as soon as he gets here. And besides, I want to have coffee and stuff already made when he gets here.”  
  
“Of course you do. How could I forget how you spoil him?” Mikey says, with a put upon huff and eye roll.  
  
“I can’t believe we all flew across the country, and all he had to do was drive across the city and he’s not even here yet!” Mikey complains, “I figured that chaotic little shit would have been here early, causing trouble.”  
  
“He just wants to make an entrance”, Ray says. “Typical Frank, always needs to make sure the attention is on him.”  
  
“Or he doesn’t want to come.” Gerard whisper-mumbles.  
  
“Get real, Gee. He probably spent an hour primping, like you. He’ll be here. I know he’s excited.” Mikey assures him.  
  
While Gerard orders the groceries, Mikey and Ray each choose a room and go to unpack. Well, Ray unpacks. Mikey puts his suitcase in the corner. Why should he bother unpacking? So what if his clothes get wrinkled? It won’t matter this week. These guys have seen him look much worse.  
  
Once Gerard gets the order finished, he goes to the last room to put his stuff away, being careful to hide the gifts he got for the others. As if this whole trip wasn’t nerve-wracking enough, there had to be gifts. As if any gift is worthy of Frank fucking Iero.  
  
Gerard panics when the doorbell rings, urging Mikey to go open it; certain it is Frank. “Just answer it, you wuss”, Mikey calls to him. “You have to face him sooner or later. Just man up!”  
  
Gerard hates that phrase. He finds it misogynistic. But he knows Mikey doesn’t mean it that way, and he is being ridiculous, refusing to answer the door out of fear, so he gathers his composure, and opens the door. It’s only the grocery delivery. With the breath of relief he lets out, you’d think he was trying to blow down a pig’s house or something.  
  
Gerard thanks the delivery person and gives them another one of his holiday tips. Even under their facemask, Gerard can see how happy they are. Such genuine happiness. Gerard feels a little good this time. And a little envious. He has so much, and he doesn’t feel happiness that way.  
  
Once the “thank you's" are finished and the groceries handed off, Gerard makes his way inside to put everything away. Mikey and Ray have now emerged from their rooms, knowing there's food and coffee in the house. Of course, Gerard puts a pot of coffee on first thing, before he’s even put the cold stuff away.  
  
He went all out on the groceries, not sure what they might end up needing during the week. But the most important things are the coffee, cream, and the almond milk for Frank. And Hot cocoa. And mini marshmallows.  
  
He puts everything away in a rush, knowing that Frank could arrive at any moment. He puts the cocoa on the stove to heat and decides to slip off to freshen up again.  
  
He wonders if he should change his shirt. He feels like this one isn’t nice enough for this occasion. But Frank has always said he likes him in green, says it brings out his eyes. Gerard’s not sure he wants any of his features highlighted, but if Frank likes it, Gerard certainly won’t deny him. 

_But what if he doesn’t like it anymore?_ Gerard’s anxiety questions him. _You’ve aged so much. And he’s grown up, too. He’s not the same starstruck kid he was when he met you. Do you really think things could ever be the same? Don’t be naïve._ His mind continues to ridicule him.  
  
He decides he really can’t deal with these thoughts without the help of nicotine. He needs another cigarette, or five, so he drags himself out of the room to head outside.  
  
But before he makes it, his thoughts actually do go silent for a moment. Interrupted by the front door flinging open, dramatically. Of course it was Frank. He literally just tosses his bags on the ground by the door as he makes his way inside.  
  
Ray makes a comment like “I told you guys Frank would have to make a dramatic entrance”, but neither Frank nor Gerard even heard him, both far too occupied.  
  
Gerard just stares, in awe. He knows Frank is beautiful. It’s not like he could ever forget that. But somehow, every time he sees him it takes his breath away all over again.  
  
Frank feels the same about Gerard, but he hasn’t even properly looked him over yet. He has another order of business first. He walks straight up to Gerard, grabs his face - gently, but with purpose, and kisses him, thoroughly.  
  
This was quite effective at shutting Gerard’s thoughts up for good. In fact, his mind went completely blank. It’s a wonder he still knows how to stand up. But it wouldn't be the first time Frank swept him off his feet.  
  
Frank finally lets go and steps back to look at him. “God, you’re beautiful.” Frank says, “I missed you so fucking much.” 

And just like that, Gerard thinks maybe he had nothing to worry about after all. Maybe everything really is the same. It certainly feels the same. He feels the same peace and happiness he has always felt when Frank was with him.  
  
He’s still trying to wrap his head around everything and come up with a reply to what Frank just said to him, when he notices that Mikey is giving him a strange look. Only then does he realize why. He’s smiling. A huge, genuine smile. One that he hasn’t used for far too long. Probably since last year. The Shrine. Last time he saw Frank. 

Instead of replying, he goes in to kiss Frank again. He briefly worries that Frank won’t accept; that maybe it was a one time, “I missed you” thing, and things aren’t the same, but then Frank is kissing him back, and it’s so perfect he thinks that he’ll never worry about that again.  
  
“I fucking missed you more.” Gerard says, when they part again. “You are so beautiful,” Gerard says, brushing his hand over Frank’s cheek. “The blond suits you. Everything suits you.”  
  
“You too,” Frank says, looking Gerard up and down again. “You look amazing. Nothing’s changed there. And green is still your color,” he says, trailing his finger down the front of Gerard’s shirt.  
  
The two of them could have stayed in that moment all day, all week. If Mikey hadn’t decided to cut in. “Since you decided to be a diva and show up late, despite being only 20 minutes away, Ray and I already picked rooms. Looks like you’re in with Gee. I assume that won’t be a problem, though.” He winks.  
  
And that quickly, Gerard is nervous again. What if Frank doesn’t want to room with him? His mouth, almost faster than his brain, is already speaking. “If you don’t want to, Frankie, I can take the couch, or crash on Mikey’s floor.”

He just looks so timid, it actually breaks Frank’s heart a little bit. He knows that Gerard has always struggled with confidence, especially lately, but Frank loves that Gerard always seems most like his true, unapologetic, self when he’s with Frank. So seeing him be shy with him kind of stings. They’ve been apart for too long, but Frank should have found other ways to remind him. Should have stayed in touch more.  
  
“Of course I want to room with you, Gee. Have you even met me? A year can’t be enough time for you to forget how I feel about you. I would have put either of those assholes right out if they even thought of trying to room with you. Unless… you don’t want to…” Frank says. 

He doesn’t really believe it, but he doesn’t want to pressure Gerard. He knows he comes on too strong sometimes.  
  
“Of course I want to, Frankie. I just- I - I wasn’t sure if you still wanted to.”  
  
He might have tried to keep the words neutral, but the tone of his voice was a dead giveaway. Frank knows what he meant.   
  
“You mean if I still want you? Is that really even a question? The answer is yes. I do. I always will. Yes.” Frank says, making sure Gerard knows just how serious he is. 

He feels bad that Gerard would ever have to question his feelings. Like he’s failed somehow. But the smile on Gerard’s face right now, almost makes him feel like he didn’t fail. It makes him feel incredible, actually. Being the one to make Gerard look like that. To be one of the very few people who get to see him this way. This free.  
  
“AHEM”, Mikey says, loudly and obnoxiously. “Sorry to interrupt, but don’t Ray and I even get a hello?” 

Frank and Gerard are both pulled from their special moment and back into reality.  
  
“Jealous, Mikeyway? You want a kiss too?” Frank antagonizes, “Sorry. My lips are spoken for,” he points to Gerard, “But feel free to kiss my ass.” He says with a smirk and a shrug.  
  
“But I guess I can say a proper hello to my 2nd favorite Way. How’ve been, brother?” He says, going in for a hug. “It’s good to see you.”  
  
“I’m good, bro. I missed you. And not just me.” Mikey says, sure Frank will know who he means. “It’s not the same without you around all the time.” He hopes that Frank understands how serious he is.  
  
“Careful what you wish for, Mikeyway.” Frank says, cheekily.  
  
“Ray..” Frank says, going over to the couch where Ray’s sitting. "So good to see you, man. You need to text more; you’re practically a stranger. How’s it been going?”  
  
“I’m good, man. Sorry I’ve been quiet lately. Just enjoying the downtime with the family, in spite of the cause.” 

“I understand that, man. Though I can’t handle downtime well. I’ve been going kind of crazy.”  
  
“Going?”  
“Kind of?” Mikey and Ray say at the same time.  
  
“I should take offense, but you’re not wrong, so I’ll let it slide. This time.” Frank says. He’s missed their stupid ribbing.  
  
Gerard is still standing aimlessly in the space between the kitchen and the sitting area. He is a bit unsure of what to do with himself, but after his greeting from Frank, he is feeling so much more at ease than he has at any point in the day so far.  
  
He decides he might actually be able to enjoy a cup of coffee now, instead of just consuming it so he doesn't lose consciousness. But making sure Frank is served is his first priority.  
  
“Frankie, you want some coffee or anything? I just made some.”  
  
“Of course you did,” Frank smiles at him fondly.  
  
Gerard doesn’t leave time for Frank to actually answer, though, before he continues. “Or I made hot cocoa! I know how much you love it. It should be ready now. And I got marshmallows!” He says excitedly.  
  
“Wow, you didn't have to do all that for me, Gee. I probably shouldn’t, because of my stomach, but I guess one cup won’t hurt, and since you made it already.”  
  
“Don’t worry, Frankie, I made it with almond milk. I wouldn’t give you something that would make you feel bad. I got almond milk creamer for the coffee, too. The vanilla one you like. And I got soy milk, and oat milk, just in case you wanted something different.”  
  
Frank is overwhelmed. Not only did Gerard remember his dairy intolerance, he went way beyond just having an alternative ready. He put so much effort in, all to take care of Frank. It’s nothing new, though. Gerard always does things like this for Frank. No matter how often it happens, though, it will never lose its magnitude. It makes Frank feel special, feel _loved_ .  
  
“Gerard, thank you. You didn’t have to do so much. I don’t know what to say.” Frank says.  
  
“Damn, Frank, you really are spoiled.” Ray says from the couch.  
  
“I really am.” Frank agrees, feeling blessed to be cared for so deeply.  
  
“Why do people keep saying that?” Gerard asks, annoyed. "It’s just basic decency."  
  
“I called him out on spoiling Frank twice today already.” Mikey says to Ray. “You should just accept it, Gee. Everyone sees it but you.” Mikey calls out.  
  
Seeing the way that Frank is smiling, Gerard feels like the spoiled one. God, he missed this. He hasn’t felt this much like himself in months. Years, maybe. 

It’s crazy how easy it is for him to fall back into Frank Mode. He knows it's a stupid title. But he also knows it’s a real phenomenon, so it needs to be referred to as something. Gerard with Frank and without Frank are two different people, that is just a fact.  
  
“I could never spoil him,” Gerard says, projecting his answer for Mikey. “Anything I could try to do will always be less than you actually deserve.” Gerard says, quieter. Directing his answer, and his gaze, only to Frank now. The mix of admiration and guilt in his voice is almost enough to make Frank tear up.

Frank wants to argue that it is absolutely the opposite, but before he can recover from the weight of that statement, and begin to think of a way to say so coherently, Gerard is grabbing his hand, to lead him the rest of the way into the kitchen.  
  
“But come on, let’s get your cocoa.” Gerard drags him a few more steps, then stops and practically poses Frank against the counter. Non-verbally telling him to stay there, while Gerard gets the cocoa for him.  
  
Gerard grabs a mug and goes to the cupboard to get the marshmallows. The dutiful boyfriend look he had a moment ago drops at the sight of them, though.  
  
“Shit!” he exclaims, “I didn’t notice when I unpacked them. These aren’t mini. They must have gotten the wrong kind, they’re jumbo. These aren't gonna work. I’m sorry, Frank. I’ll make a new order to get the right ones, but I’m sorry I ruined your cocoa.”  
  
It hurts Frank to see Gerard blaming himself for something so trivial.  
  
“Babe, it’s no big deal. It’s not your fault. And it’s not a fault at all. Giant marshmallows will work just as good. As if I was going to have a reasonable amount anyway. You overestimate my maturity, hun.”  
  
Gerard is glad that Frank doesn’t seem disappointed, but he still feels like a failure.  
  
“Actually, the big ones are awesome!” Frank adds, excitedly. “We can play Chubby Bunny. We haven't done that in years!” 

Frank is properly impassioned, now. Gerard thinks it’s adorable, and is already grinning widely at Frank's enthusiasm. Ray seems pretty neutral. So does Mikey, but he always looks like that.  
  
Frank isn’t about to let them be a wet blanket. If nostalgia and excitement aren't enough to get them on board, he’s certainly not above taunting.  
  
“Although, maybe we shouldn't even bother. I’ll obviously win, since I clearly have the most experience. Right, Gee?” Frank says with a suggestive wink.  
  
"Well _there's_ an image I absolutely never needed. Thanks, Frank.” says Ray.  
  
Mikey chimes in next. "Yeah, seriously, Frank. Gross.. You don’t have to slut-brag for everyone to know you have the biggest mouth here. In fact, when I beat you at Chubby Bunny, it will be the only time you're not talking incessantly. That'll make it a double victory."  
  
Frank laughs, because he doesn’t mind the guys thinking he’s slutty. It’s true. And besides, he got what he wanted. Mikey was goaded into Chubby Bunny. He knows Gerard will play if he asks, so Ray won’t be able to say no to all 3 of them.  
  
But suddenly Gerard is chiming in, “Mikey kinda has a point, Frankie. You do talk an awful lot. And maybe you should give it a rest for a bit.”  
  
A rare smile spreads over Mikey’s usual poker face. Seeing anyone sass Frank is a good time, but he hasn’t seen Gerard be outspoken like this in too long, so it’s twice as satisfying.  
  
His smile quickly turns to a frown when Gerard finishes his quip, though.

  
"Y'know, so you don't tire your mouth out. I'll help you do that later" Gerard gives a wink of his own. The smirk on his face is part thrill, from being flirty with Frank, and part reveling in the discomfort of Mikey and Ray. Frank Mode may have a stupid name, but it doesn’t even matter. Gerard loves feeling this alive again.  
  
Flirting and making people uncomfortable is like 90% of Frank’s personality, so he is so on board with taking it a bit further. “That’s an excellent point, Gee. And on that note,” he turns to Mikey and Ray, “you guys brought headphones, right? Or earplugs? It might be wise to use those tonight." His expression is seductive and devious.  
  
"Okay, that's enough of that." Ray says, "And I'm not playing Chubby Bunny with you idiots, either, since you are clearly not mature enough."  
  
"Fine, _MOM_ ,” Frank says to Ray teasingly, “You never let us have any fun… Ooh, I know! Let's go have a snowball fight instead!"  
  
"Because that's much less childish," Ray answers, rolling his eyes in feigned annoyance.

"That sounds like the response of someone who knows they will lose, Toro. Don't be such a chicken."  
  
"Fine, motherfucker, you're on. And you're going down.” Ray says, getting baited into the competition. Another point for Frank.  
  
“Don’t count on it.” Frank laughs.

"Oh, but you are," Mikey chimes in, "Ray and I are taking you and Gee down. Preemptive payback for having to watch you two snuggle and make googoo eyes at each other all week."

"Still worth it," Gerard says.  
  
That warms Frank's heart. He’s smiling so wide it almost splits his face in two. But now is not the time to get sappy. Frank is still a competitive brat (and proud of it).  
  
"It _WOULD_ be worth it,” he says, “if we were going to lose. But that's not going to happen; Especially with those twigs you call arms, Mikeyway."  
  
"Ouch, Frank, that really wounds me” Mikey says, playing morose, “Though it would be more threatening if you were even tall enough to see over the foot of snow that's out there."

Mikey laughs at his own joke. Frank even laughs a little. Then a lot. It's contagious. Soon Gerard and Ray follow suit until they are all doubled over cackling. 

They've practically forgotten what started it, but it doesn't matter. 

Once Gerard started that honking laugh of his, their amusement came from how funny that was, and then that morphed into laughing at how easily amused they are, and it just kept on from there. Before they knew it, several minutes had passed and they were all out of breath with tears streaming down their faces.  
  
Frank and Mikey have always loved taking shots at each other, even more so than the others, but they are especially enjoying it this time. It has been way too long since they've gotten to just hang out and joke with each other like this. They've all really missed it.

But no one has time to get sappy about it, because Frank is already cracking another joke: "Out of breath already? I knew you guys were old, but man, that's embarrassing." 

"Just because you perpetually look 13, doesn't mean the rest of us are old, Frank." Ray retorts.  
  
"You're only a couple years behind us, Frankie, don't get too smug.” Gerard says, seeming to find more self-confidence with each minute he spends in Frank’s presence. “Besides, I'm not old. 40s are the new 30s."  
  
Of course this was a reference to the interview he did with Frank, back when he was turning 30. Man, that was over a decade ago. How time flies. But at the same time, it feels like a lifetime ago. Back before he made so many mistakes, and almost lost what he and Frank had in the process. He hates to think of what that would be like.  
  
"Yeah, for trees." Frank chimed in, without missing a beat. As if all their moments together are seared into his brain, too.   
  
“Ha! I never understood what you even meant by that, Frankie,” Gerard says.  
  
"Fuck if I know; I was really baked. But when do I ever know what I'm talking about?" Frank says, a little too proud of his self proclaimed lack of sense.

"But, actually, I think maybe it had something to do with us carving our initials in that tree. Remember?” Frank asks, not actually expecting an answer. He continues the story.  
  
“We had one day off between shows, so we went and had that really pathetic picnic. But it was just us, and it was actually really great. Perfect, really. You carved our initials into the tree and said ‘this way the universe will never forget this moment, either, because I never will.’”  
  
Frank pauses for a second, to really reflect on that moment again. It’s one of his favorite memories ever.  
  
“It was so sweet and magical. But, of course, I’m immature. So even in heartfelt moments, I can’t be too serious. So I joked about how much it would blow to be growing strong and undisturbed for 30 years, just for 2 assholes to come along and graffiti you with their names.”  
  
Frank sighs at his own immaturity, before continuing on.  
  
“You’re used to my stupid jokes, of course. You know me better than anyone, so you just gave a little chuckle and said it was romantic. I said ‘I bet the tree doesn't think so, being stuck with that for the next 80 years.’ I really was an annoying little shit. I’m glad you didn’t just leave me there for being such a dumbass."  
  
Gerard is so touched that Frank remembers all that. That he knows what happened, word for word, just like Gerard does. Gerard wonders if Frank thinks of that day as often as he does, or if he just has that good of a memory.  
  
Gerard wants to ask Frank about it; wants to know if it is just another fun day in the history of Frank’s life, or if it is momentous, part of the bedrock of his entire existence, like it is for him. But instead he just says, “That was a great day. Best picnic I've ever been on." 

"By that you mean the only one you've ever been on?" Frank asks, playfully.  
  
"Yes, but that's how I want it." Gerard answers. “I wouldn't want to go with anyone else. Just like I would never defile a tree with anyone else."  
  
There is a lot more he means by that. Like how he could never feel that way about anyone else. And how the only person he wants by his side, for any event in his life, is Frank. 

He doesn’t say that, though. He hopes Frank already knows. He hopes he feels the same. And he’s far too afraid to find out if he doesn’t.  
  
“I wouldn’t either.” Frank says, honestly. 

And Gerard knows he means it. He can’t be sure if he means it on the same level, entirely, but it’s still enough. More than enough. His heart is more full than it has been in years. 

They’ve been together, in that time, sure, in whatever ways they could, but they didn’t talk about it. It was always just understood. 

But there's just something about hearing it. Something irrefutable. Gerard’s mind can’t tell him it’s one-sided. His anxiety can’t fool him into thinking Frank picks him for convenience. It’s not platonic or extracurricular, it’s love. Still. After all these years. 

Frank was really set on his snowball fight, but he can hardly remember why right now. Because, with the way Gerard is looking at him, so lovingly, all he wants is to pull him in for a kiss, and never let him go. So he does. The first part, at least. He will, unfortunately, have to let go at some point. But not now.  
  
“Can you guys go like 5 minutes without making out?” Mikey groans. “You’re going to ruin my appetite.”  
  
“Sorry Mikes,” Frank says, “It’s not my fault your brother is irresistible.”  
  
While Mikey definitely does not want to think of his brother that way - _ever_ \- it makes him happy to see him being treated with such love. He’s always been appreciative of the way Frank cares for Gerard. Mikey knows what they have is rare and special. But he’s still going to call it gross, and tease them mercilessly; that’s just his job as the younger brother and best friend.  
  
“But seriously, I’m starving. Can you stop eating each others’ faces long enough for us to have lunch or something?” Mikey asks, petulantly.  
  
“What about our snowball fight? Chicken out already, Mikeyway?” Frank retorts.  
  
“Fuck you. I’m not chickening out. I just want to eat. Some of us can’t sustain on my brother’s saliva.” Mikey says peevishly.  
  
“Too bad, because it’s good stuff.” Frank says, always loving to get a rise out of Mikey.  
  
“Fine, Mikes, we’ll have the snowball fight tomorrow,” Frank says. “I mean it. All of you. If any of you try to back out again, I’ll just bring the snowballs inside and pelt you anyway.”  
  
“But having lunch is a dumb idea, it’s after 6pm. There’s a time change from L.A. to Jersey, remember?” Frank reminds him.  
  
“I don’t care what time it is, I just want to eat. I didn’t have time for breakfast, because we flew out at buttcrack in the morning, because Ray is a sociopath. And I didn’t eat on the plane either, because I was sleeping. Once again, thanks, Ray. I just want food, I don’t care what you call it.” Mikey whines.  
  
“Okay, fine. I’ll cook something... for DINNER,” Frank says. “Do we have anything to cook?”  
  
“Yeah, Gerard ordered basically all of Pathmark. There should be more than enough for whatever you want.” Ray answers, “But YOU’RE going to cook? Is that safe?” He adds.  
  
“I don’t know if that was an attempt at roasting me, Toro, or if you’re just being the overprotective mother hen, again, but yes I can cook. So you’ll be eating your words, along with my bomb ass casserole.” 

Frank made his way into the kitchen, Gerard following behind him. Gerard just went to help Frank find what he might need, since he is the one who chose everything and put it all away. But really, that is just his excuse, he’s actually there because he wants to take advantage of every opportunity to admire Frank. 

“Okay, Frank, what do you want to make? I bought a lot of veggies. And pasta. Do you have something in mind? What should I get for you?” Gerard asks. He has that timid tone back in his voice, like he is afraid to do the wrong thing, like even asking Frank about the meal is a risk. Like he will somehow fail or annoy Frank  
  
“You don’t have to get stuff for me, Gee. You’re not here to wait on me, y’know?” Frank says, sensing Gerard’s nervousness. “But if you want to help, I would really love that.” He finishes, to make sure Gerard knows that Frank isn’t implying he doesn’t want Gerard there. “Or you don’t have to help, if you don’t feel like it. I guess what I’m saying is I’d just love your company.” Frank continues, making his wishes even more clear.  
  
That makes Gerard smile. He loves how Frank always knows what to say to him. Somehow it never seems forced, like Frank is just saying what he wants to hear. It is always genuine, from the heart. It's just one of the many things that remind Gerard how well Frank knows him. Frank knows him better than probably anyone. He’s more than okay with that. 

“I’d love to help, if you’re sure it’s okay.” Gerard answers. “What should I do?”  
  
“It’s like you don’t even listen to me,” Frank laughs, “I don’t really blame you, though, I say a lot of dumb shit, sometimes. But, yes, it’s more than okay. I want you to help. I want you around me. Right now. Later. Always. You never have to ask. Do you understand?” Frank asks, sweetly.  
  
“I do, Frankie. I’m sorry.” Gerard answers.  
  
The apology and the tone in Gerard's voice make Frank want to just shake him (or kiss him) until he actually accepts what Frank is saying. But he knows it’s hard for him, and he knows it’s better to just let his actions prove it, instead of making it a whole _thing_ of it, by giving another sappy speech. There’s no rush. And Frank really enjoys these kinds of actions.  
  
“Don’t apologize, babe. The kitchen is an apology free zone. Besides, there’s no time to waste on that; we’ve got a dinner to cook. Help me find the pasta?” Frank says, jumping into activity mode. Gerard always worries less when he is actively doing something.  
  
“Yeah, of course, sor- um. My pleasure.” Gerard says, catching and correcting himself before he could apologize again. 

Frank cracked a small smile at that. It is always hard on him, seeing Gerard act so small. But he loves being the one to help bring him back up to size. It never gets old. 

Frank has already gotten to have a glimpse of it a couple times since he got here. Just a few precious moments of Gerard dropping all his insecurities and acting, impulsively, on his feelings. It’s Frank’s favorite thing to be witness to.  
  
Gerard hands Frank the pasta, and it’s perfectly cliché, with their fingertips brushing one another’s. They both blush and smile, and get those stupid stomach butterflies.  
  
Frank starts the pasta to boil and oven to preheat, then begins to gather the other ingredients. He finds, with Gerard’s help, carrots and broccoli, and several other ingredients, including onions, which Gerard volunteers to chop.  
  
Frank knows Gerard isn’t the most proficient in the kitchen, but he means well and tries hard, and Frank finds it endearing, and incredibly adorable.  
  
Gerard gets the cutting board and a large knife and starts to chop the onions, while Frank mans the pasta and chops the other vegetables.  
  
Gerard struggles a bit to get the onion peeled, but he manages, although not very gracefully. The way he’s holding the knife makes Frank nervous, though, so he goes over to show him a better technique. If it gives Frank an excuse to stand too closely behind Gerard, while he guides his form, well, that’s just a happy perk.  
  
Frank’s hand on Gerard’s, and his front pressed to Gerard’s back, is not really the greatest recipe for helping Gerard focus on the onion; but he’s certainly enjoying the lesson.  
  
By some miracle, he does manage to pick up Frank’s demonstration and begin handling the knife without such a great risk of bodily harm. Unfortunately, he’s Gerard, so he can always find a way. This time it comes in the form of his traitorous tear ducts. The onion clearly has no regard for his desire to impress Frank.  
  
Gerard is trying so hard to fight through the terrible stinging, and completely blurred vision, to still finish the task, before Frank notices. But he’s never that lucky. The severity of the assault makes his nose start to run, too. And the sniffle draws Frank’s attention.  
  
Frank looks over and sees Gerard, a tearstained mess. He looks miserable, but still so determined. And he’s beautiful, Frank thinks, puffy eyes and all. Of course, he can’t stand to see Gerard in pain, though, so he has to intervene.  
  
Frank rushes over, and gently reaches for Gerard’s hand, to direct him to stop chopping and put the knife down. “Come on sweetheart, what are you doing? You should have stopped before it got that bad.” Frank says, leading Gerard toward the sink.  
  
“But you need the onions,” Gerard says, as if it’s perfectly reasonable that he would gas chamber his eyeballs to get them.  
  
“I don’t care about those, babe. I could chop them, or just leave them out. I’d never want you hurting over something so trivial.” Frank answers.  
  
Frank grabbed a clean washcloth and wet it, to put on Gerard’s eyes. “Here, sweetheart, this should help the pain a little bit.” 

“Thank you, Frankie. You’re too good to me.” Gerard says.  
  
“I’m not. It’s nothing. And it is definitely my pleasure,” Frank replies, still holding the cool cloth to Gerard’s eyes, as he strokes Gerard’s hair, soothingly, with his other hand.  
  
After a few minutes Gerard has forgotten all about the burning in his eyes. Party because Frank’s cloth idea probably worked, but mostly because _Frank_ . Just having him there, being so affectionate. Gerard can’t think of anything being painful, now. All he feels is love.   
  
Frank seems to be in a similar mindset. He’s still holding the cloth, but he’s practically forgotten the reason. All he can focus on is the feel of Gerard’s hair against his hand, and how Gerard's lips look, so soft and pretty, right in front of him. No one could resist that, he thinks. 

So he doesn’t feel conflicted, in the slightest, when he pulls Gerard in for a sweet kiss. And another. And another. They just stay that way for a while, holding each other and enjoying this perfect moment. Nothing else matters.  
  
...Not even the pasta, which is currently burning on the stove.  
  
It takes the combination of the oven timer beeping, the pasta pot smoking, and the metallic, burnt smell for them to be snapped from their intimate moment, and realize they were supposed to be cooking. _Oops_ .  
  
Frank rushes to the pasta, frantically trying to stir it back to an edible form. But it's no use, obviously. Not unless the definition of edible can be expanded to include noodles that are half crunchy, half soggy, clumped together, and burnt on the bottom. 

Before Frank can even say anything, he sees the look change on Gerard’s face. He blames himself. Of course.  
  
“I’m sorry Frankie. I ruin everything.” He says, voice even smaller than before. Frank hates it.  
  
“Hey, sweetie, what was the rule?” No apologies in the kitchen. It’s not your fault. I was supposed to be watching it. I messed it up, but it’s no big deal. I’ll make more. It’s fine.”  
  
Gerard untenses slightly, but Frank knows he won’t stop feeling guilty.  
  
“Frank, I-” Gerard tries, but Frank interrupts him. “Unless you are going to say ‘kiss me’, you should stop talking, so I can kiss you.”  
  
“But-” And then, Frank’s lips are on Gerard’s, and his repeat attempt at apologizing doesn’t seem quite as important anymore.   
  
Once again, they had retreated into their own bubble, where nothing else existed. So, of course, something would have to come along and pull them out. There was always something.  
  
This time it was Mikey, who so rudely ‘barged’ into the kitchen, to ask about the food. “So are the rest of us going to eat sometime tonight, Frank, or will it just be you eating Gee’s face?”   
  
Frank wants to tell Mikey to fuck off, and gloat about the great meal they will have, by showing him a mouthwatering casserole. But Frank hasn’t even thrown out the pasta-tastrophe yet, let alone washed the pan and started new pasta.  
  
He had gotten distracted. Again. It’s not his fault, though. He’s still adamant that no one would have the willpower to resist Gerard. He’s only human.  
  
But his justifications won’t hold much weight with Mikey, so has spotted the pot and gone to have a look. _Shit_ .  
  
“Is this the ‘bomb ass casserole’ you promised us Frank? Because I don’t think you’d even feed this to Lois.” Mikey admonished.  
  
“Is the rest of the recipe in Gee’s mouth? Was that research you were doing when I walked in? Enlighten me on the inner workings of your culinary genius, please.”  
  
“Shut up, Mikeyway. I got distracted. I had a minor setback. I’m going to re-make the pasta and the recipe will still be better than anything you could ever make.”

“Like I am going to trust your cooking after that? Look at it? That’s embarrassing.” Mikey teased.  
  
“I wouldn’t start throwing stones, in that glass house, Mikey. At least I can use a toaster unsupervised.” Frank said in retort.  
  
“Not if Gee’s in the room, apparently. You’d get too ‘distracted’,” Mikey quipped right back. “Seriously man, you ruined the pasta. It’s just noodles and water. All you have to do is stir it. If you can’t do that, what can you do?” Mikey continued.  
  
“I can do yo’ momma!” Frank cracked back.  
  
“Gross, dude. She’s practically your mother-in-law,” Mikey says.  
  
“Yeah, that was a bad call,” Frank agreed.  
  
“Seriously, though, dude. You know I love to rag on you, but I’m starving and I am not risking you messing up the food again, so we need to order something,” Mikey says. “You can attempt to give us food poisoning another night, if you really want to.”  
  
“If you’re going to be such a baby about it, fine, Mikeyway. We’ll order. Your treat.” Frank says.

“I’ll buy it, Frankie,” Gerard says. “It’s my fault anyway. But you can pick. Order whatever you want.”  
  
“Why does he get to pick?” Mikey asks, petulantly. “He’s the reason we don’t have a meal anyway.”  
  
“He’s not, Mikey. I am. Besides, he’s way cuter than you, so deal with it.” Gerard says. Mostly because it’s true, and never gets tired of saying it. But partly because he knows it will get a rise out of Mikey, and that’s always fun.   
  
“Whatever. Just ‘cuz you’re in love with him, doesn’t mean he’s actually cuter. You’re just biased. Tons of people know I’m better looking. I have a list.”  
  
“If you mean the list of everyone you hooked up with on tour and at parties, that’s not proof of anything except you being slutty.” Frank snaps.  
  
Ray walks in at that. “Alright, little boys, don’t make me put you two in time out. You’re both very handsome in your own way,” he says, in his most exaggerated ‘mom’ voice.  
  
“Rayyyy, Mikey’s being mean” Frank says, in his most childish voice, though he can’t help ruining the act with a giggle at the end. 

“Okay, enough playing around, Frank. I am seriously starving. Can we please just order some damn pizza already.” Mikey says, grumpily.  
  
“Yeah, we can order, but we’re getting Chinese. I’m sick of pizza. I eat it all the time.”  
  
“Frank, I am convinced you are just trying to be a brat. I haven’t had good pizza in ages.” Mikey whines.  
  
“It’s not my fault the pizza in LA sucks,” Frank says, “But the Chinese sucks too, right? It all tries to be too healthy or trendy. Come on. You know you want some basic, greasy, unhealthy, takeout Chinese. We used to live off that shit on the road.” 

“Yeah. I guess I haven’t had the good, whole in the wall, stuff in a while, either. Jersey has the best Chinese, too. You have a point, for once.” Mikey concedes.  
  
So they order food, way more than the 4 of them could possibly eat. And they decide on a movie while they wait. The cottage didn’t have any, naturally, so they were limited to the ones they brought with them. Well that, or order a movie on demand, since there was cable, but that didn’t seem to occur to them.

“This is even worse than on the bus,” Ray commented, about the slim selection of movies.  
  
They ended up with Star Wars, Mad Max, Rocky Horror, Die Hard, and The Nightmare Before Christmas - 2 copies, the one Frank brought, and the one Gerard brought, for Frank.  
  
That prompted more jokes about Frank being spoiled, which only escalated when that’s the movie that was chosen, thanks to Gerard’s tie-breaking vote. But neither Frank nor Gerard really minded. And, secretly, Mikey and Ray both thought it was sweet.  
  


Half an hour later and they still hadn’t even started the movie yet. They were too busy still trading jokes. Mikey and Ray were making fun of Frank for being spoiled, and Gerard for being whipped, and the two of them were pretending they aren’t both proud of those facts. 

The only thing that interrupted their roasting session was the doorbell. Their food had arrived. Wow, it felt like no time had passed at all. Even Mikey, who had been ready to sacrifice Frank for something to eat, seemed to be surprised by how quickly the food came. Only, it wasn’t quicker than usual, they just lost track of time.  
  
Gerard went to answer, since it was his treat, and so he could once again give his special tip. As much as he loved doing it, he hated how much weight was behind it, in terms of the person’s reaction. He didn’t want to disregard their gratitude, but, to him, it was just a small kindness, and he felt bad when people would make him out to be a hero for it. 

He tried to hand the tip subtly and hoped the driver wouldn’t see it until he had left, but the person did, and the reaction was just as you would expect. Overwhelming. Gerard accepted the “thank yous” gracefully, and gave some of his own, they are the real essential workers, after all. Gerard then wished him a happy New Year, and made his way inside with the food.  
  
Mikey may have temporarily forgotten how ravenous he was, but that was over now. He nearly tackled Gerard as he made his way to take the bags, not even waiting for Gerard to set them on the coffee table.  
  
“Were those three steps really so much longer to wait, Mikey?” Gerard asks. “You still have to wait for someone to get plates.”  
  
“Who needs a plate?” Mikey rationalized. “We never used plates on tour.”  
  
“We’re not on tour, Mikes. We can be civilized.”   
  
“We do that at home, every day. This is our vacation. We are hanging out with the band, like old times. So let’s make it like old times. Come on. You know it tastes better out of the carton.” Mikey tempts.  
  
“Mikey’s right. For once,” Frank says. “It tastes better from the carton.”  
  
“Okay, you win. No plates. I was trying to have a little class, for once.” Gerard concedes.  
  
“That’s cute, babe,” Frank says, “but class is overrated.” There was definitely innuendo behind that response. But with Frank that’s the default.  
  
“And don’t even think of arguing, Toro. You’re out voted. We know you’re more responsible than us, but you don’t always have to be so perfect. Live a little.” Frank says, before Ray has a chance to complain.  
  
“Can I at least have a fork?” Gerard asks. “You know I’m not good with chopsticks.”  
  
“Of course, Babe.” Frank says  
  
“Or you could just tip the container to your mouth and ‘drink’ it, the way Frank used to on tour.” Mikey says  
  
“I almost forgot about that!” Ray says, “How do you drink Lo Mein without choking?” He asked, regretting it as soon as he heard the question leave his mouth.

“Wait! N-” Ray tries, but it’s too late, Frank is already answering.  
  
“I’ve had much bigger things down my throat without choking.”  
  
“Yeah, I walked right into that one.” Ray says.  
  
"Seriously, Frank, how were you always the grossest, but simultaneously the biggest clean freak of all of us?” Mikey asked, pointedly ignoring Frank’s suggestive comment. “Like, you were always down to dump a carton of Chinese on your face, or roll on the floor with any random dog you could find, but if you didn’t have a shower every stop you were a total diva about it.”  
  
“I’ll never forget the outdoor showers at warped,” Gerard chimed in. “That was kind of extreme, but you were so adorable. I was kind of jealous that anyone walking by could get such a good view of you, though.” 

“Really? That’s cute,” Frank chuckled, “You know the best view was always saved for you, though. And that’s one of the reasons I always cared so much. I worried if I was too gross you wouldn’t want me.”  
  
“That’s ridiculous, Frankie! Did you actually think that?” Gerard asked, actually mind boggled. “There was nothing that could have made me not want you, least of all something superficial. And I wasn’t the picture of cleanliness back then, we all know. I’m still not.” The shame in his voice on the last sentence was all too clear.  
  
“That never mattered,” Frank says, “You were amazing. Are amazing. I always felt like I was one step away from losing you, Like I was in a dream that I’d eventually wake up from.”  
  
Gerard frowned at that. “I’m sorry that I made you feel like that, baby. It was never like that. My feelings never wavered. I was always expecting you to get bored or J to get fed up. I never thought I’d be enough to keep your interest for so long.”  
  
“Oh, babe, that’s absurd. I could never get bored of you, ever.”  
  
“Okay, not to be an asshole,” Mikey interjects, “but you are both idiots. You’ve both been completely gone for each other since day one. Literally. And everyone saw it but you two. I had to listen to Gee talk about you all night after that first Eyeball party where you met.” Mikey says, mostly to Frank.  
  
“And I had to deal with Frank asking me a billion not-at-all subtle questions about you every time I saw him after that. ‘So your brother’s single?’, ‘Is he ‘open minded’?’, the list goes on.” Mikey says to Gerard, exasperated just at the memory.  
  
“So now that it’s established that you both are, and always have been, totally in love with each other, let’s just eat our food, finally. Fucking please?” Mikey asks. But it’s definitely more of a command than a question. 

Frank and Gerard both kind of want to ask Mikey to elaborate on his statements about the other, or ask each other about those events. But they know better than to do that right now, so they just let the topic drop, start the movie, and settle in on the couch to eat.  
  
In scrambling to appease Mikey, Gerard forgot his fork. But now he was already comfortable, all cozy on the couch, with Frank sitting impossibly close, almost in his lap. He didn’t want to get up.  
  
Gerard tried using the chopsticks. As he suspected, he was still very bad at it. He kept dropping the noodles completely, or he’d only get one noodle to stay long enough to reach his mouth. Frank found it adorable. But he also took pity on Gerard, who was getting frustrated.  
  
“Want me to go get you a fork, babe?” Frank asked, “Or, I could just feed you.” Frank offered, lifting his loaded chopsticks toward Gerard’s mouth.  
  
Gerard happily opened his mouth and allowed Frank to feed him the bite. “You don’t need to get up, baby, but I am definitely not opposed to you feeding me, if you’re offering.” Gerard answered, once he finished chewing.  
  
“I was hoping you’d say that,” Frank says. “That option is much more fun.”  
  
Frank alternated between feeding himself and feeding Gerard. (And the occasional kiss now and then, because how could he resist?) And they both had way too much fun with it, much to the disgust of Ray and Mikey.  
  
Once they were both full, they somehow found a way to cuddle even closer to each other, while they watched the rest of the movie. They both sang along to every song, which earned them jeers from Mikey, every time, and even one from Ray by the 5th time. They were way too happy to care, though. It was perfect. 

By the end of the movie, though, Gerard could barely keep his eyes open. He was tired. Not just in that cute little ‘I’m sleepy’ way. He was completely ‘body shutting down’ sleep deprived. The only things that had been keeping him up the past several days was coffee and anxiety.  
  
The anxiety, and insomnia, it all felt so far away now. Gerard was just feeling so euphoric, all comfortable and warm, in the arms of the person he loved most. 

He wanted to enjoy the feeling (forever) and not waste any of it on being asleep. He managed to stay awake to finish the movie, even singing along to the closing song.  
  
As soon as it ended, Mikey and Ray let out a chorus of “finally's" and started talking about which movie they should watch next. Normally, Frank would be right in that discussion, too, not caring that the last movie was already his pick, but he could tell Gerard needed to sleep.  
  
“Come on, babe, you’re tired. We should go to bed.” Frank says to Gerard, sweetly.  
  
“It’s early, Frankie, I know you’re not tired. I can stay awake.” Gerard protests.  
  
“I know you can stay awake, love, but you’re tired, and there’s no reason to force yourself to stay up. Especially not for a movie we’ve seen 200 times already.”  
  
“But I want to spend time with you, and I don’t want you sacrificing your fun for me.” Gerard insists.  
  
“Getting to go to bed with you is anything but a sacrifice, love. Come on. Please?” Frank coerces. 

“Always the sweet talker, baby. As if I could say no to you.” Gerard caves.  
  
Mikey and Ray didn’t even notice that exchange, so they looked surprised when the two got up to leave.  
  
“We’re going to bed,” Frank says, before Mikey can even ask, “catch you guys in the morning.”  
  
“Eww, guys, can’t you wait. We’re gonna watch another movie, and I thought we were doing gifts tonight.”  
  
“Oh, fuck off, Mikeyway,” Frank says, “we are actually going to bed. Gee’s tired as fuck. Look at him. We’ll do gifts tomorrow. AFTER the snowball fight. Don’t think I’ll forget or let your ass back out of that. Maybe you should go to bed early too, so you can’t use a late night as your excuse when I cream you.”

“Maybe you’ll dream about that tonight, Frank, since that’s the only way it's going to happen.” Mikey says.  
  
“Okay, we can trash talk more tomorrow, kids. You two have a good night.” Ray says, knowing that Mikey and Frank will bicker indefinitely until someone stops them.  
  
Frank concedes and leads Gerard to his room. Well, Gerard has to lead, mostly, since Frank didn’t even take the time to look at the rooms or know which was his. He didn’t even move his bag from by the front door, where he dropped it when he got there. 

When they get to the room, Frank starts taking his shoes and jeans off, so he can sleep in his boxers, since he doesn’t feel like going back for his bag. Gerard takes notice. And interest. And then Frank is sitting him on the bed and taking his shoes off too.  
  
“Do you want to sleep in your undershirt and boxers, or do you have clothes you want to change into?” Frank asks him, as he moves to unbutton Gerard’s shirt. 

Gerard is feeling overwhelmed, now. He feels overwhelmingly happy, from how sweetly Frank treats him, and how right it feels being with him again. He feels self conscious about his appearance. And he feels nervous for what will happen next.  
  
Once Frank gets his button up shirt off (after he just quietly admires him for a moment), he starts to help Gerard take his jeans off. He is tentative, in a way, which is highly unlike Frank. His actions are all pure love and caring, here is no lust in this moment.  
  
When he’s finished, Frank leans in and kisses Gerard, softly. A sweet kiss, full of love, but tame.  
  
“Last chance, babe, do you want to put on pajamas or something, or is this fine?” Frank asks.  
  
“I’m fine,” Gerard answers.  
  
“You sure are.” Frank says, once again enraptured by Gerard’s beauty.  
  
“Oh stop, I didn’t mean it like that, and we both know it’s not true.” Gerard says.  
  
“I never got that memo,” Frank says, “But whoever wrote it must be blind and dumb, because your hotness is undeniable, love. And I won’t take arguments.”  
  
Frank motions for Gerard to lay with him on the bed, instead of staying sitting up. When he does, Frank immediately pulls him under the covers, and wraps his arms around him. He runs his hand along Gerard’s chest affectionately, and kisses the back of his neck, gently.  
  
“Good night, my love,” Frank whispers in Gerard's ear.  
  
Gerard is confused, because he wasn’t expecting just to sleep. Not after they’ve been apart for so long. Not when things were so good all day.  
  
“Oh, um, goodnight, Frankie” Gerard says.  
  
Frank immediately notices the uncertainty and disappointment in his voice, though.  
  
“Absolutely not!” Frank says, which only confuses, and worries Gerard.  
  
“What, baby? What’s wrong?” Gerard asks, like he thinks he did something wrong. 

“I know you, love. I know your tones. You’re doubting yourself. Or me, my feelings for you. Or both. And just, no, that’s not happening.” Frank says.  
  
“I’m sorry?” Gerard says, “I didn’t mean to sound like that, or to bother you.”  
  
“Don’t apologize, love. The bedroom is an apology free zone, Frank says, a callback to his rule from earlier. “And you could never bother me. I just want to know what has you worried, so I can help you understand that the fear is unfounded. So, what is upsetting you, sweetheart?”  
  
“It’s nothing,” Gerard says, embarrassed, “It was dumb. I’m sor- I won’t do it again.”  
  
“Please tell me, Gee. I want to know. I want to understand how you feel. It’s important.” Frank pushes.  
  
“Fine, but it’s stupid. I’m just being stupid, Gerard says. “Earlier you said to the guys about ‘needing headphones’ later and I know you were just joking, but we had a really good day, I thought, and so I kind of assumed, y’know, which was silly of me, and you just want to sleep. And that’s fine! And I just should have known you wouldn’t be interested. But I let myself believe my own fantasy, I guess.”  
  
“Oh, Sweetheart, Frank says, “I’m sorry.”  
  
“What?” Gerard asks, seriously not understanding why Frank would possibly be apologizing. “No apologies in the bedroom, Frankie. And besides, I’m the one that messed up.” 

“That rule is for you, because you always apologize when you’ve done nothing wrong, Frank says. “You didn’t mess anything up. I hurt your feelings. I didn’t mean to, but I did, so I’m sorry. I didn’t even realize that might seem like rejection to you, because I could never imagine rejecting you.”

Frank pulls Gerard to face him instead, so he can see how serious he is when he says this: “I am interested. Completely. Forever. I had thought I had made myself very clear on that by now, but I have no problem telling you as many times as you need to hear it, love. I enjoy saying it, actually. I love you. I want you. Always.”  
  
Gerard can tell he means it. But it’s still hard for him to believe it. Luckily, Frank wasn’t done.  
  
“I know you haven’t slept, babe. I could see it when I got here. And all day. And I could really see it during the movie. You are exhausted. And you need rest. I was not going to be selfish and try to keep you awake. In no universe does that mean I didn’t want you. God, I can’t even imagine a day where I wouldn’t want to make love to you. But getting to sleep beside you is just as wonderful. And we can do the other things once you’ve slept. Is that okay, love?” Frank asks.

“Of course it’s okay, baby. I would never pressure you. I’m sorry. I don’t care about the apology rule. I am. I didn’t mean to be so petulant. Sleeping beside you is incredible. That’s more than I deserve. And I got all pouty when you were just putting my well being first, like you always do. How do you even put up with me?” Gerard says.  
  
“I don’t, love. I’ve never once ‘put up with’ you. I am thankful for every moment I get to spend with you. I just wish there was a way that I could help you understand that.” Frank says.  
  
“I wish you could too, baby,” Gerard says, regretfully. “I forget it sometimes, the doubt, when you’re around. The way you always treat me, I get wrapped up in it. I feel like everything is perfect. It is. With you it’s perfect. But it always comes back, to tell me it can’t last.”  
  
“Well, it’s wrong,” Frank replies simply, “I’m not going anywhere. We will last for as long as you’ll have me, which I hope is forever. That’s how long I’ll love you for.”  
  
“I’ll love you forever, too, baby,” Gerard says, “Thanks for never giving up on me.”  
  
“I’d do anything for you, love, but that I do for me. I’m selfish. I want you. Anything related to that, keeping you, is all for my benefit. I’m so fucking lucky.” Frank says, whispering the last part, like it’s a secret.  
  
“Not as lucky as I am,” Gerard says, softly, just before he leans in and kisses Frank. “Thank you for loving me.”

“My pleasure,” Frank says, before he leans in to initiate the kiss this time.  
  
Gerard feels completely at ease once again, thanks to Frank’s reassurance, and the comfort of being in his arms. Minutes later he falls asleep, feeling more peace than he’s felt in he can’t even remember how long.  
  
Frank takes a few moments just to admire Gerard, and enjoy being able to be with him, like this, again. He feels complete. He can’t remember the last time he’s felt so whole. Well, he can, actually. It was the last time he got to hold Gerard this way. It’s been too long. 

He wants to stay awake all night, to savor this moment for as long as possible. But with his heart feeling so full and his soul feeling light and unburdened, his eyelids get heavy. He drifts off into a blissful sleep in the arms of the man he loves.  
  
They both got the most restful night’s sleep that either had had in over a year. Frank woke up first, by only a few minutes. He used that time to just admire the sight before him. He’s always found Gerard beautiful, of course, but there is something rare and precious about the way Gerard looks when he is completely at peace. He looks light, not fighting a war inside his head or trying to be what he thinks other people want him to be.  
  
Gerard awoke shortly after Frank, perhaps due to the fact that Frank couldn’t resist stroking Gerard’s face. He certainly didn’t mind waking up that way, though. In fact, it was so perfect that he worried that he wasn’t awake at all, and this was just a dream. But he knew it was real. Even his dreams could never be this perfect.  
  
Neither wanted to leave the sanctuary of the bed, and their little bubble they created there. As they lay there, wrapped up in each other, physically and emotionally, nothing else seemed important. 

Several minutes had passed where they were just silently enjoying the moment; no words needed, or even sufficient, to describe how special it was. 

Frank maintained the silence for as long as he could, but not talking isn’t exactly his strong suit. “Do you need coffee, babe?” He asks, still stroking Gerard’s face.  
  
“Always,” Gerard answers, “But it can wait. I’d rather stay like this a little longer. If that’s okay with you.” 

“I would love that,” Frank says. He figures this moment is the perfect time to kiss Gerard, so he does. And then, because he’s Frank, he decides to interrupt their romantic moment with a joke.  
  
“So, I’ve finally gotten promoted to ‘above coffee’?” Frank askes, with a chuckle.  
  
“You were always more important,” Gerard says.  
  
“Are you sure? Because I distinctly remember being thrown out of your bunk, multiple times, in your efforts to get out when we’d stop at Starbucks.” Frank presses. It did happen, but Frank knows it’s nothing to dwell on, and always found Gerard’s coffee addiction adorable. He just loves to tease Gerard in harmless ways like this.  
  
“I always got you a drink too!” Gerard defends. “But I am sorry I knocked you out of the bunk. I was an idiot. I’ve gotten a little smarter since then. Not much, but a little. Enough to know what the really important things are.”  
  
“Coffee is pretty important.” Frank says, flippantly.  
  
“It is. But there might be one or two things more important. If only I could put my finger on what they were.” Gerard says, playfully, running his finger down Frank’s chest.   
  
“Hmm, That sounds promising,” Frank says, flirtatiously, “But maybe take your time and really think about it, and let me know later. Otherwise I’m going to need a cold shower before we have coffee.”

“Is that so?” Gerard asks teasingly. “Just you? Sounds lonely.”  
  
“Oh, it would be, definitely,” Frank confirms, “That’s why I don’t want it to come to that...yet. Come on, babe. Let’s go get your coffee. We want to be fueled up good so we can decimate Mikey and Ray in the snowball fight.  
  
“You’re really into this snowball fight, aren’t you, baby? That's cute. We gotta bundle you up real good, though, so you don’t get sick. It’s probably not even a good idea, with your immune system, but I know it’s important to you.” Gerard says.  
  
“Is now a good time to tell you that J said if I get pneumonia that she’s blaming you?” Frank says

“What? Why me?” Gerard asks, actually surprised. J has always accepted what he and Frank have, so he knows it’s not that. Frank’s tone was light, so he knows it’s not serious, but still he wonders why he’d be to blame.  
  
“She’d blame you, because she knows I’m a stubborn idiot, so she expects me to be reckless. She knows Ray would try to mother me, but I won’t listen to him. She knows Mikey would probably egg me on, but that if he told me no, I’d do it twice as much, out of spite. So you are the only one I would actually listen to. But she said you wouldn’t tell me no. She thinks you spoil me.” Frank explains.  
  
“Ha! I told you! Everyone knows you spoil him, Gee. Everyone.” Mikey yells from outside the room somewhere.  
  
“What the fuck, Mikey? Do you just listen to everything we say, or do you have some kind of sonar to pick up ‘I told you so’ moments?” Gerard yells back, annoyed.  
  
“Both, really” Mikey says, “But ‘I told you so’s are my favorite. And I am risking mental trauma every time I listen to you anyway. The last thing I need more of is your and Frank’s ‘sexy’ talk.” The shudder of displeasure is evident in his voice, even through the almost yelling.  
  
“Why do you keep yelling?” Ray asks, as he walks up to Mikey in the hall. “Just open the door and talk like a civilized person.”  
  
“It’s Gee and Frank. You really think I’m going to risk what I could see? you open the door if you’re so brave. At least neither of them is your brother.” Mikey says  
  
“Point made, dude. Self preservation. They are both like my brothers. And I’ve seen more than enough over the years on the bus, and backstage, and in hotels… So, uh, yeah. Carry on yelling, Mikeyway.” Ray says, patting Mikey on the back supportively, before walking away.  
  
“You are both so weak!” Frank yells “There is nothing going on in here that would scar you. If there was, I certainly wouldn’t be wasting my attention on replying to you. But if you’re so worried about it, maybe stop eavesdropping and go make coffee or something.” 

“Yeah, Mikes. Coffee!” Gerard seconds.  
  
“I was actually going to make coffee, but since you asked so rudely. I won’t. I guess you better go do it, Gee. I would say Frank should, but after he massacred that poor pasta yesterday, it’s a public service to not let him.” Mikey says

“Ex-fucking-scuse you, Mikeyway, but I am pro at making coffee. Maybe you’re forgetting all the times I did it, masterfully, on the bus, even with almost no supplies. But did you not see my grinding the beans, video?” Frank asked, mock offended.  
  
“Oh I saw it, ‘daddy’, another of many ways you have scarred me for life. On that note, I’m done talking through the door, and I’ll expect Gee to be out here making coffee in the next 5 minutes.” Mikey says.  
  
“Guess some things never change,” Gerard says to Frank, “we still can’t be alone without one of the others ruining it, usually Mikey.”  
  
“TRYING to ruin it,” Frank corrects, “Nothing could ruin this unless you actually got taken away from me.” He cements his point with a kiss. “I’ve even kind of missed their stupid complaining,” he continues, “since it goes hand in hand with the rest of it. With us. I like everything that relates to _us_ .”  
  
“So do I.” Gerard agrees, offering a kiss of his own. “Okay, baby, as much as I’d rather stay in bed with you all day, I guess we should actually join the others for coffee and the outside world… in a minute…” Gerard says, before kissing Frank again, more spiritedly. 

They finally break apart and make their way, begrudgingly, out of bed, to join the others. Gerard puts on different clothes, without changing his undershirt or boxers, since he doesn’t want Frank to see him undressed right now.  
  
Frank puts back on his same jeans, because his bag is still in the living room. He considered just going out in his boxers, but he figured he’d save the ‘traumatizing’ moments for when he actually gets caught doing something. He’s sure will happen, at least once, since he has 6 more days in this cottage, with Gerard. 

“You look incredible, babe,” Frank tells Gerard, pulling him in for yet another kiss. “You’re making it real hard for me to care about coffee, or the guys, or anything but you.”  
  
“You’re one to talk, Frankie. That blonde hair has been driving me wild since you got here. Well, not just the hair. But it’s really unfair how you always look so fucking good. It’s a wonder I can even form words when you’re around.” Gerard replies.  
  
“Okay, we seriously need to leave this room right now, or I won’t be able to let you leave,” Frank says.  
  
“If that is supposed to be some kind of threat, I promise it is having the opposite of the intended effect,” Gerard says. 

Before they can get too wrapped up in yet another cycle of flirting, Frank’s phone rings.  
  


“What the fuck do you want?!” Frank says when he answers.  
  
“It’s been 5 minutes. I want my coffee. So can you pry yourself from my brother’s ass long enough for him to come make it?” Mikey responds on the other end. 

“You seriously called me, just to whine about coffee? You could just make it yourself. And you all say I’m the stubborn one.” Frank replies, shaking his head, as he hangs up without even waiting for a response from Mikey. 

“Your brother’s a brat,” Frank says to Gerard.  
  
“You say that like it’s news,” Gerard says with a shrug, “Come on, before he calls again, or gets an air horn or something.”

They finally leave the sanctuary of their little bubble. In a way. It was hardly a sanctuary with Mikey interjecting repeatedly. And since they’re still together, it’s not like they are really leaving. They can take their special bubble anywhere. So, for now, they take it to the kitchen, to make coffee.  
  
Gerard might night be the most skilled at dicing onions, but nobody is better at making coffee than him. No matter where his self esteem is measuring at, he always knows he’s the king of coffee. He can even make all the fancy designs on top of the coffee, with creamer.  
  
So he makes the coffee, rich and strong. And then he pours everyone’s cup and adds the sugar, before adding the creamy art. He adorns Ray’s with a simple smiley face, Frank’s with a really intricate, swirly heart (using almond milk creamer, of course), and in Mikey’s he creates a fabulous middle finger, as a ‘thank you’ for his interruptions this morning. He doodles an ‘F’ inside a heart into his own cup, but he doesn’t let the others see it. 

Frank is still blushing, a little, from the heart in his coffee. It shouldn’t affect him this much. He should be used to it. Gerard used to do it for him all the time, especially on hotels days, when they would order room service. Maybe that’s why he’s so flustered, remembering all those mornings, and the nights that came before. Or maybe it’s just knowing that Gerard still does that extra touch for him, after all this time. 

He almost didn’t even want to drink the coffee, so he didn’t have to mess up the design. But he’s sentimental, not an idiot. (Okay, he might be an idiot, too, but it’s unrelated to his not wasting coffee.) He needs energy to win the snowball fight. And maybe to make good on his ‘threats’ from this morning.  
  
As if the caffeine and the sugar already in the coffee weren’t enough, Frank decided that he needed more. More sugar. ‘Sugar is energy’ is the justification he used, as he added 3 jumbo marshmallows to his coffee, and popped another into his mouth, plain. 

“Jesus, Frank. Would you like some coffee with your sugar?” Ray asked.  
  
“I already have some, Toro. But if you’re suggesting another marshmallow, don’t mind if I do,” Frank says, putting yet another giant marshmallow into his mouth. “Mhpp, great suggestion, Toro” Frank says, purposely chewing as loud as possible and talking with his mouth full.   
  
They spent the rest of their ‘breakfast’ with Frank and Mikey trash talking each other, in preparation for the snowball fight. Ray and Gerard mostly just watched them. Ray in exasperation, and Gerard in admiration. 

He always loved Frank’s fiery spirit, no matter what it was he was impassioned over at the time. It never mattered if it was ‘just’ a snowball fight or ‘just’ a performance for 5 kids in a basement, Frank always put everything he had, and more, into it. That’s one of the first things Gerard fell in love with about him.   
  
When they all finished their coffee, everyone went to get ready for the snowball fight. Which meant Frank actually needed to move his suitcase, finally. Gerard tried to do it for him (Yeah, Frank’s not spoiled at all), but Frank’s not that much of a brat, so he did it himself. Mikey or Ray? Yeah, Frank would have let them do it. He would have reveled in it, even. But not Gerard. He does so much for Frank already.  
  
Gerard helps Frank pick out his clothes, trying to make sure he will be as warm as possible. After they found Frank a long sleeve shirt, a cardigan, and a hoodie, plus gloves that aren't fingerless, Gerard goes into the closet (since he unpacked his suitcase yesterday) and takes out a jacket. It’s his old black coat with the fluffy fake fur lined hood. He offers it to Frank.  
  
“It’s not a youth large, but I thought maybe you’d want to wear this. I know you used to like it.” Gerard says. But his tone lacks confidence, like he thinks Frank won’t want it, or will think it’s silly.   
  
“Oh my god! Did you bring this just for me to wear?” Frank asks, his enthusiasm easing Gerards doubts, already. “That is so sweet. I can’t believe you still have it. But I really can’t believe you made the effort to bring it just for me. You’re amazing!” Frank is vibrating from excitement.  
  
It might be just a coat, and Frank did love it, sure, but it was never the jacket he really cared about, it was the gesture. Living in a bus they always had to share stuff, but there’s stealing clean socks from Ray’s bag when he ran out and then there is Gerard giving Frank the coat off his back, literally, when they went out somewhere and he got cold. 

Every time Gerard let him wear the coat it was a symbol, at least in Frank’s mind. A symbol that Frank was his. So yeah, he fucking loved this coat. And if Gerard saved it all this time, and brought it here for Frank now, maybe he felt the same way about how important it was.  
  
“It’s nothing, Frankie. I’m glad you still like it. I worried you’d think it was dumb. I know I can be too sentimental sometimes. But you can keep it, too, if you want. It doesn’t even fit me now. I only kept it because it reminded me of you.” Gerard says.  
  
"I would love to keep it, if you want me to. I only loved it so much because it was yours. It made me feel like _I_ was yours." Frank says

"You were. At least, I always thought of you that way." Gerard says.

"What about now?" Frank asked.

"Of course. Always. As long as you want to be." Gerard answered. 

"Always sounds about right," Frank says, going in for a kiss. "Just as long as I don't get pneumonia, so J doesn't kill us." Frank laughs, when they pull apart again. 

Frank puts on the coat, with Gerard's help. Then they share one more kiss, before heading out to the living room, where Mikey and Ray are waiting. 

"At least I didn't have to call you this time, Frank," Mikey says, holding up his cell phone, mockingly. But then he notices the coat. "Oh, nice jacket, Frankie," he says knowingly. 

Frank beams with pride at that. But he's still a smug little shit, so he replies with, "I know; it's awesome. I'm glad I don't have to worry about it getting messed up, since no one will land any snowballs on me."

"We'll see about that, fucker," Mikey says "I give it 5 minutes before you get 'distracted'."

"You better hope so. Me at my most distracted might almost make it a fair fight for you." Frank taunts.

“So, are there rules? Are we keeping score?” Ray asks, as they make their way outside.  
  
“The score will be kinda like in boxing.” Frank says. “So we’re not counting hit for hit, but it won’t be hard to tell which team was most dominant overall. And there are really any rules except you can run away - so no leaving the yard. And watch the junk. And the face; Gee and I are too pretty, don’t want to risk damaging the goods.”  
  
“Too pretty...right. If that’s what you tell yourself, Frank.” Mikey scoffed. “Don’t worry, I’ll only damage your ego.”  
  
“Good luck with that. You’d be the first.” Frank says, smug as ever. 

They end up breaking off into their teams, each taking one side of the yard, divided by the walkway. Frank and Mikey immediately began grabbing handfuls of snow and hurling them, while Gerard and Ray both started trying to build a barrier out of snow. It was odd, since neither team had discussed a strategy at all. 

Once Gerard thought he had a sufficient barricade built up, he started making snowballs, so Frank would have an arsenal. Frank had been holding his own even before that, though. He already landed several shots on Mikey, who only got him twice.  
  
As Gerard was bringing his snowballs to set them up next to Frank’s main post, one of Mikey’s snowballs, meant for Frank, went wide and smacked a bent over Gerard right in the face - hard. The sound it made was loud enough that everyone stopped and looked. Frank immediately turned to go check on Gerard, who had moved from bending over, to just sitting on the ground, holding his mouth.  
  
Mikey briefly considered taking a cheap shot at Frank’s back, or at least making a crack about how he knew Frank would get distracted. But even if Gerard isn’t actually hurt, that’s still too much a dick move, even for him.   
  
Gerard was hurt. He had a busted lip. Not really a big deal. Certainly not an emergency. Frank was practically frantic, though.  
  
Frank, the reckless one, that injured himself (and one or more of his bandmates) at almost every show. The dude that enjoyed his own bloody nose so much that he used the selfie on his merch for 5 years (and counting) after the fact. That Frank was freaking out but a little fat lip. He was pretty overprotective of Gerard.  
  
“Mikey, what the fuck? I said not in the face. Especially Gerard.” Frank, scolds.  
  
“Oh, sweetheart, are you okay?” Frank asks him, worriedly.  
  
“I’m fine, baby.” Gerard assures him.  
  
“But your lip, it’s busted open. It’s going to be sore. And we need to go clean it.” Frank says.  
  
“Now that you mention it, it is a little sore. Maybe you should kiss it better.” Gerard says.  
  
“With pleasure, love.” Frank says, giving him a gentle kiss.” But I think actual treatment might help it heal better. Let’s go inside.” Frank helped him up, and never let go of his hand, as they walked inside. Mikey and Ray followed shortly after.  
  
Now that Mikey knows Gerard is barely hurt, he isn’t above trash talking. “Looks like Ray and I win, since you forfeited, Frank.”  
  
“Like fuck. I was creaming you until we stopped. And you’re disqualified since you broke the rules. No face shots. You lose. Twice.” Frank says. He may still be worried about Gerard, but no way is he going to let Mikey claim victory.  
  
Frank leads Gerard into the kitchen, to get ice for his lip. He’s still a lot more frantic than he should be over such a minor injury. But he only gets more panicked as he realizes the cottage was empty when they arrived, meaning there is probably no first aid kit.  
  
“Ray?!” He calls, “Did you bring a first aid kit?”  
  
“No, Frank. I know you’re a danger to us all, and I’m always burdened with being the responsible one, but I actually didn’t think to bring one, this time. Sorry.” Ray replies, not yelling, since he walked into the kitchen now, too.  
  
“It’s fine, Frankie.” Gerard says. “It’s not that bad. And I already told you the cure.”  
  
Frank knows what he means, so he kisses him again. “Babe, I’ll kiss you as many times as you want, with or without your lip being hurt. But I think you need some ointment or something; I don’t want your lip to scar, or get infected. I can go to the store.”  
“Please don’t, baby. Don’t go through the trouble. Besides, I’d rather have you here. That makes me feel better than ointment ever could.” Gerard says.  
  
“Wait!” Gerard exclaims, like he just remembered (because he did), “You must be so cold! Come on, baby. You need a blanket.” Now it’s Gerard’s turn to worry too much. He leads Frank to the couch, and forces him to sit, while he goes to their room to get a blanket. The fact that Frank still has on gloves, a hat, and 3 layers seems to be insufficient.  
  
“You need to warm up, Frankie.” Gerard says, as he covers Frank with the blanket.  
  
Frank wouldn’t mind, except Gerard is still standing. And _no_ , that’s simply not acceptable. “Only if you warm up with me.” Frank says.  
  
“With pleasure, baby.” Gerard replies, snuggling up beside Frank on the couch.  
  
They just sat there for a while, completely wrapped up in each other in every way. They could have stayed like that all day. They probably would have, if they weren’t interrupted, as always, by Mikey.  
  
“Present time, assholes!” He exclaims. 

As far as Gerard is concerned, the best present he could ever have is sitting right next to him.  
  
“Is my being here not present enough, Mikeyway?” Frank jokes.  
  


“Not at all. In fact, you should give us double the gifts for putting up with you.” Mikey replies.  
  
Frank chuckles and flips Mikey off.  
  
“Your presence is enough for me, baby” Gerard whispers in Frank’s ear, before leaving a kiss behind it.  
  
The shiver that rocks through Frank’s body is so intense it makes him really glad he’s sitting down. His legs would have certainly given out otherwise. He’s so shaken (in the best way possible) that it makes it hard for him to even form the words to respond. The only thing that comes to him is, “I love you so fucking much.” That and kissing Gerard again.  
  
It takes an enormous amount of self control, from both of them, to not simply fall back into their bubble and ignore Mikey’s request. To not ignore everything besides each other. 

But they manage it, somehow. Frank stands first, grabbing Gerard’s hand and gently pulling him to follow. Gerard is more than happy to oblige. Wherever Frank is at is the only place he wants to be anyway.  
  
They head into their room, to get the gifts they brought, while Mikey and Ray go upstairs to their own rooms to do the same. They all return fairly quickly, gifts in tow.   
  
Mikey and Ray both seem to have envelopes. Gerard has his 3 gifts, all wrapped up in pretty holiday paper. And Frank is holding a large, paper grocery bag that presumably holds his gifts.  
  
“So who’s going first?” Frank asks.  
  
“I will.” Ray says. “It might not be what you were expecting, but I hope you can appreciate it.” He hands them each an envelope.  
  
They open them, all at the same time. They each hold a card that documents the charity donation Ray made in their name. He based the donations off of their passions. Mikey’s went toward music programs for children in underserved communities, Gerard’s went to an arts program, and Frank’s went to a no kill animal shelter.  
  
Gerard is the first to speak. “Wow, man, this is amazing! Thank you!”  
  
“Yeah, dude. So rad. Thanks!” Frank says.  
  
“This is perfect, Ray. Thank you.” Mikey says.  
  
“You’re welcome. I’m glad you guys think it’s cool. I figured it was better than just another thing to own, since we all have so much.” Ray says.   
  
“I guess I’ll go next.” Mikey says. “My envelopes are less awesome than Ray’s though. I should have gone first, to set the bar low.” He laughs, handing out his own envelopes. In signature Mikey fashion, they held gift cards for each. 

Starbucks for Gerard and his coffee addiction, Best Buy for Ray and his video game obsession, And Ebay for Frank and his obsession with finding obscure junk online.  
  
Frank went next. “It doesn’t matter the order. My gifts are still going to raise the bar. You’re welcome.” He says, before even handing them out.  
  
They were puzzles. All the same. Frank Iero Nose Bleed puzzles.  
  
“Wow, Frank. Just what I always wanted.” Ray says sarcastically.  
  
“Really broke the bank on this one, Frank. How could I live without this?” Mikey says, rolling his eyes.   
  
“I love it, Frankie.” Gerard says. “But did you really think I wouldn’t order this the day you released it?”  
  
“You did?” Frank asks, breaking his smug character.  
  
“Of course, baby.” Gerard says.  
  
“Aww, babe. That’s so sweet. That’s not your real gift, anyway, though.” Frank says. He pulls one last gift out of his bag, and hands it to Gerard. It’s even wrapped, albeit poorly.  
  
“Do we get good gifts, too?” Mikey chimes in.  
  
“No, those are your real gifts, asshole. Enjoy.” Frank says.

Gerard opens his gift and immediately starts getting emotional. It’s a photo album. All photos of Gerard; In the van, the studio, backstage, etc, taken at random moments throughout the band’s entire career. All taken by Frank. The photos were candid; Gerard not even realizing he was being photographed. 

Gerard has always admired Frank’s photography, but these were even more incredible than his usual amazing work. There was something so intimate about these photos. They were amazing.  
  
“Oh, baby, this is incredible!” Gerard says, almost on the verge of tears. “These photos are so beautiful. Thank you!”  
  
“Of course they’re beautiful, love. Just look at the subject. All I did was click a button, the rest was all you.” Frank says. “Sorry I couldn’t find a gift worthy of you. But I am glad you like it. I’ve always loved these photos. I’ve never let anyone else see them before.”  
  
“No apologies in the living room, Frankie.” Gerard replies. “Especially not for getting me such a special gift. The only thing that could have topped it is if it was photos of you.”  
  
“At least you put thought into one gift, Frank.” Says Mikey. “And at least you don’t have to worry about ‘the bar’, Gee. Frank just set it on the floor.”

“Talk shit all you want. We both know you love it, Mikeyway.” Frank says.  
  
“I don’t know one-upping anyone, but I hope you all like the gifts.” Gerard says, as he hands them out.  
  
Mikey opens his first. It’s a first edition (very rare) X-Men comic, from 1963.  
“Oh my god, Gee! I can’t believe you got this! Thank you!” Mikey shouts excitedly. With Mikey you almost always get poker face or snark. This level of excitement is rare from him.  
  
“You’re welcome, Mikes. Glad you like it.” Gerard replies, like he just gave him a puzzle or Starbucks card and not a grail collectors item.  
  
Ray goes next. His is a guitar strap. A rare, Kirk Hammett edition. It was limited to 300 pieces. “No way! This is amazing, Gerard. Thank you!” Ray cheers.  
  
“You’re welcome. Glad you like it.” Gerard replies, simply.  
  
Gerard is really anxious now. He was hoping they’d just open them all at once, and not pay much attention. Now Frank is the last to go, and this is the gift he was worried about. Nothing is good enough for Frank, as it is; Least of all this.  
  
Frank opens his gift, and is overcome with emotion. He’s speechless. It’s the best gift he’s ever gotten, in his opinion. Which is the only one that matters in this subject.  
  
It was the most beautiful song book Frank had ever seen. Hand bound, gold edged pages, vegan leather, so it didn’t harm any animals. That alone was more than enough. But it was so much more than that. The cover was painted by Gerard.  
  
The design was a nest, with 2 birds inside. One bird had Xed out eyes, the other had black circled eyes. That’s very familiar. But there was ever more. 

The birds were each like a collage that gradually changed styles. Each bird held characteristics (hair and color schemes) from Gerard and Frank throughout their years in the band, even to their current looks, and the final stage showed the birds gone gray.  
  
It was like a memorial to all the time they’ve spent together, and a promise that there is more to come. It was everything Frank could have wanted and more. And he didn’t know how to react without just falling apart.  
  
Gerard was already nervous about the gift, but Frank’s silence wasn’t helping. Before Frank could find the words to express how much he loved the book, Gerard was already apologizing.  
  
“I know it’s not much, Frankie. I’m sorry. I just figured... to write all your genius lyrics in. “ He was practically stuttering from But I did get you a real gift, too. I called Lauren at Jersey Ink and your next tattoo is paid for.”  
  
Hearing Gerard apologize for the most thoughtful thing he’s ever received practically broke Frank’s heart. Enough that he was finally able to find words, then. He had to. Had to make sure Gerard knew that would cherish the book forever.  
  
“Gee, sweetheart, I love the book. It’s perfect. I’m sorry I didn’t react faster. I just didn’t know what to say. I’ve never gotten a gift as special as this. Ever. Thank you.” 

Frank is about to cry from the overwhelming emotion. And the look on Gerard’s face, like he thinks Frank doesn’t mean it, isn’t helping. All Frank can do is keep talking, so he doesn’t break down.  
  
I mean it, babe. It’s more than I could ever have imagined. This is the most beautiful painting I’ve ever seen. Thank you for the tattoo, too. But a tattoo, 100 tattoos, could never compare to this. Nothing could.” Frank gushes.  
  
Gerard still has his head hung down, though he is glancing up at Frank. He looks hopefully, but timid. Frank can’t stand to see it anymore; and he just can’t take another second without kissing the man he loves. 

So Frank places a hand under Gerard’s chin, using it to lift Gerard’s face to meet his gaze, then his lips. He hopes the kiss says the thousands of other things that his words couldn’t express. 

It does. 

It’s perfect. Everything is perfect. And Gerard was right earlier: The best present he could ever have is right in front of him. He just just wishes he could stay in this moment forever. 

Though he will, in a way. It will stay with him, always. Like the picnic, and his birthday interview, and every other moment where his life was made better just by having Frank there.  
  
And for Frank it will be the same. He will carry this image in his heart forever, like all the precious photos he collected, of the times his life was made more beautiful just by having Gerard there.  
  
Like is so common for them, they were so wrapped up in each other that the rest of the world seemed to not exist. They didn’t even realize that Mikey and Ray had left them alone. 

After they exchanged hushed “I love you’s”...more than once... and shared a few more tender kisses, Gerard had an idea. Still floating from the happiness of the moment they are sharing, he’s not even nervous about it.  
  
“Stay here, baby. I’ll be right back.” Gerard says, giving Frank another quick peck, before rushing off to the kitchen.  
  
Frank doesn’t even have time to question him before he is rushing back out, knife in hand. He grabs Frank’s hand with his free hand, and leads him to the couch, without explaining. He sets the knife down on the coffee table and grabs the blanket from the couch, to wrap it around Frank’s shoulders.  
  
“Perfect. Gotta keep you warm. Come on.” Gerard says, like he’s satisfied. He has still offered no explanation for the knife or where he was asking Frank to ‘come on’ to, though.  
  
Gerard just picks up the knife, and takes Frank’s hand once more, and leads him to the front door, and then outside. He drags Frank all the way to the giant Red Oak tree in the far corner of the front yard.  
  
Frank is just about to question him, when he figures out what Gerard is doing. But then Gerard explains, anyway.  
  
“I thought we could carve our initials in it. So the universe can remember this day, too. What do you think, Frankie?” Gerard asks.  
  
“Absolutely. I think that’s the only thing that could make today any more special than it already is. But let’s make it our whole names this time.” Frank answers. 

“Yes, baby, that’s even better!” Gerard says, immediately getting to work on the “F”. Soon he has finished Frank’s name, and is starting on his own. It’s a little more difficult than it should be, though. Kitchen knives are not the most ideal for this task. 

He comments on it, half complaint, half reminiscing how far they’ve come. “It’s not like the old days anymore, huh? When we had to carry knives everywhere, just to walk from the venue to the van. It’s not quite the same with a kitchen knife.”  
  
“A lot has changed since then. But I’m glad some things never did” Frank says, clearly referring to _them_ .  
  
“And never will. At least, not if I have any say in it.” Gerard replies.  
  
“And never will.” Frank agrees.  
  
Gerard has finished his own name now, and begins making a heart around them both. And then it’s finished. For a rush job with a crappy knife, it turned out wonderful. They both admire it, before turning to each other to share a kiss.  
  
“It’s perfect!” Frank exclaims. “We need to take a picture of it!”  
His phone is in the cottage, on the coffee table, though. So it’s his turn to tell Gerard “Stay here. I’ll be right back.” before running inside to grab it. Literally running. He’s back under 15 seconds later, phone in hand, already pulling up the camera, as if the carving will disappear if he doesn’t capture it fast enough.  
  
He takes a photo, or 20, and then tells Gerard the need a selfie with it, too.  
  
“Why don’t I just take one of you with it, baby? That would look better.” Gerard says. Frank knows what he means by that. Even when his confidence is high (for him), he’s way too self deprecating.  
  
“Not a chance, babe. Get your gorgeous ass over here and take a picture with me. I’m not above begging, but there are more fun things I can save that for.” Frank says, flirtatiously.  
  
“As you wish, baby. You know I can’t say no to you.” Gerard says, complying with Frank’s request and getting in position for a photo. Frank takes a photo, or 20, and he’s beaming the whole time. It’s just fucking magic, this whole day (less Gerard’s busted lip.)  
  
He puts his phone in his pocket and takes Gerard’s hand, so they can just stand there and look at their ‘grafiti’ once more. His gaze dances from the beautiful declaration in front of him to the beautiful man with whom he shares it. 

Until, that is, something else draws his attention, unexpectedly. In the (short) distance, beyond the tree, is a giant moose. Frank actually startles at this. He loves animals, but he’s not big on wild animals in general, and certainly not ones crashing his romantic moments with Gerard. He gets enough of that from the guys.  
“Babe, look, it’s a fucking moose.” Frank says.  
  
“Wow, look at it! Cool.” Gerard says.  
  
Frank doesn’t share that sentiment. First of all, the thing looks shady. Secondly, since when are there even moose in New Jersey? That isn’t natural.  
  
“It’s not cool, babe. It’s weird. It looks like it’s plotting something. Let’s go inside, before it charges us or something.” Frank says.  
  
“Ohh, Frankie. That’s so cute. ‘The toughest guy in Jersey’ is scared of a moose.” Gerard gently teases.  
  
“I’m not scared of it, I just don’t trust it. And I’m not risking anything else happening to that pretty face of yours.” Frank says.  
  
“And besides, I am the toughest if we’re talking about taking on wannabe macho assholes, in dive bars or something. I’ll fight anyone. No fear. But I am not going to beat up an animal, no matter how sinister it is.” He continues.  
  
“I know, Frankie. I was only teasing. I know how tough and fearless you are - It’s really hot! - You’re always so protective of me. And I know you’re a sweetheart too, that won’t hurt anyone who doesn’t deserve it. On purpose at least.” Gerard says.  
  
“Okay, place your bet. Did Mikey hire that fucking moose somehow, or is the whole animal kingdom also determined to interrupt all or romantic moments?” Frank says, in annoyance and (still in) disbelief. 

“Nah, I think the universe just wanted something to mark the occasion. The day was already too memorable, though, so it had to produce something crazy. And we wouldn’t be us if something wasn’t interrupting us.” Gerard says, as they walk back toward the cottage, still hand in hand.

“I guess. But I think we’ve made our mark on this day just fine on our own. That freaky moose will be the least memorable part.” Frank says.  
  
“I agree. I’ll never forget this day, but it has nothing to do with being third-wheeled by a moose.” Gerard says.  
  
“Glad I rank above random woodland animals.” Frank jokes.  
  
“Yeah, it was a close race, but I think you win out by a little.” Gerard jokes back, nudging Frank’s shoulder playfully. The Frank Mode phenomenon is making another appearance, it seems. With the way today has gone, and how completely happy and loved Gerard feels, it might stick around for a while this time. He could get used to that.  
  
He’s already dreading when they have to leave. Being away from Frank again seems unbearable, now. But it seems more hopeful than the last time, too. All the moments they’ve shared so far and their talks of ‘always’ will help him keep the faith. While they might be apart, he’s sure, now, that they will still be _together_ . That’s all he needs.  
  
But for now, he still has Frank here, and he doesn’t plan on letting any of that time go to waste. 

When they get back inside, Mikey and Ray still aren’t around. They’re probably hanging out upstairs or making contact with their families or something. But it’s obvious the real reason they made themselves scarce. in the first place, was to let Gerard and Frank have their moment, privately.  
  
Gerard considers, briefly, letting them know that it’s ‘safe’ to back down. But he can’t say with confidence that it will stay that way; Resisting Frank is a talent he’ll never have.   
  
Instead he just enjoys having more alone time with Frank, and decides they should use it on making cookies. It's pre-made dough from the store, and with no onions to chop, he thinks they'll be safe.

They manage to get the cookies baked with no incident, only moderate mess, and a ridiculous amount of adorable domesticity.  
  
Gerard sets the cookies on the rack to cool. He’s kind of proud that he didn’t ruin them. But, really, the only snack he’s actually interested in is standing beside him.  
  
“Hey, baby… can you give me some sugar?” He asks, innocently. But the second Frank looks at him, he pulls him in for a kiss, proving what he was really asking for.  
  
They are so cliché. But he’s never been happier.  
  
As if on cue, Mikey and Ray appear. The logical answer is that they smelled the cookies; Mikey must be part bloodhound. But the actual reason, and Frank is adamant, is because it’s clearly their life’s purpose to interrupt him and Gerard at every opportunity.

But it’s actually pretty great, because they all get to decorate the cookies together. And as much as Frank and Gerard love to be in their lovebird bubble, this trip was for the band, and they’ve really missed all hanging out together, too.  
  
They create the most badass collection of Christmas cookies ever. Frank and Gerard each modeled one after the other, of course. They both chose Revenge era, since it reminded them of that old Vine.  
  
And then they made current versions of each other, too; because they are both sappy as fuck and can’t quit admiring each other’s beauty, for even a few minutes.   
  
Ray made a bunch of cool guitars on all the circle cookies. He somehow got 8 done in the time the others had made 1 or 2. Those blasted nimble guitar fingers. That and he’s a show off. But he’s still always oddly humble about it.

Mikey made one of himself, proclaiming it the ‘sexiest cookie of all time’, which earned him only scoffs and arguments.  
  
“Well I wouldn’t say that, Mikeyway. But you’re certainly the 2nd most handsome Way brother.” Frank says, giggling.  
  
“I’d take offense to that if I didn’t know how biased you are. But I’m kinda glad you feel that way. Having you drool all over me isn’t a burden I want to bear. That’s all Gee.”  
  
“You’re damn straight it’s all me!” Gerard chimes in, still riding that confidence. “And don’t forget it”  
  
“I only have eyes for you, babe.” Frank agrees. They both know it’s not _entirely_ true, because of J, but that’s just understood. That never has and never will affect what they share. And in the moment, he always means it completely. 

“Oh, and _him_ .” Frank says, holding up his cookie Gerard.  
  
“Oh, I’ve got competition, huh? I’m a way better kisser, though.” Gerard says, confidence still high. “And I can prove it.”  
  
“Oh can you? I might need a lot of convincing.” Frank says.  
  
And then they’re kissing. Mikey is making gagging sounds. Ray is averting his eyes, out of respect and self preservation. 

“Now I know why I’m so ‘scrawny’, as Frank loves to mention. It’s because you assholes have been ruining my appetite since 2001.” Mikey announces, as if Frank and Gerard are even listening. They’re not.  
  
But they have _some_ modesty, so they eventually stop and get back to cookie decorating.  
  
When the cookies are all finished, they decide to blast some tunes. They all take turns controlling the music. It’s just like they used to do in the van, when they traveled between shows.  
  
They even danced. Well, Frank danced. Ray is too chill to dance. Mikey will tear it up, at a club, but right now he was content to laugh at Frank’s dancing. Gerard was content just to admire Frank. But, of course, Frank wouldn’t have that. He wanted Gerard to join him. And Gerard can’t say no to Frank, even when he really wishes he could.  
  
So they dance. It’s not pretty. It’s messy, erratic; just energetic jumping around, mostly, since the music is all punk and heavy rock. But it’s fun. There’s no pressure to look cool or even be any good at it. They are free, uninhibited, and together. So, in its own way, it is romantic, too.  
  
And then someone (probably Ray) put on “Maybe I’m Amazed” by Paul McCartney. That song has always been special to them. To all 4 of them, they love the classics. They grew up with music like that. But it holds extra meaning to Frank and Gerard.  
  
They both shared a knowing look as soon as it started playing. Then Frank held out his hand, unspokenly asking Gerard to dance with him. Of course, Gerard could never have said no, but this time he didn’t even consider it. It was his honor.  
  
They didn’t care that it was cliché. They didn’t care if Mikey and Ray thought they were ridiculous. They danced, and they kissed. And Gerard whisper-sung the lyrics into Frank’s ear. “Maybe I'm amazed at the way you love me all the time… Maybe I'm afraid of the way I love you...”  
  
Frank was practically floating. Gerard’s arms around him are the only thing keeping him grounded. This moment, this whole day, everything was absolutely perfect. It almost makes up for the awful year they’ve had and all the time they’ve missed out on. 

The love he feels (they feel) right now is more than many people get to experience in a lifetime. He doesn’t take that for granted.  
  
Gerard doesn’t either. And he never will again. 

They dance some more, getting back to faster songs. Mikey and Ray even join in, when they realize they are missing all the fun. It’s the kind of reckless fun that they’ve all been needing the past 9 months; just being able to let go and blow off some steam, with their best friends in the world.  
  
After the dance party, they are exhausted. (But they still aren’t old, thank you very much!)  
  
They order pizza, actually Mikey’s treat this time. And he even offered; they must have entered the Twilight Zone during their blowout, for that to happen. They also remember that On Demand and Netflix exist, which greatly enhances their movie options. They’ll still end up picking one they’ve seen 3 dozen times, though.  
  
The night is as perfect as the rest of the day had been. They eat their weight in pizza and don’t disagree on movies. They all take turns reciting the lines, since they know them word for word. It’s awesome.  
  
The ‘after hours’ events, for two of them, are even better. Some might describe them as magic and fireworks. But again, they have _some_ modesty, so that’s as far as that discussion will go.  
  
The rest of their days in the cottage fly by. Just a blur of chaos, banter, and romance. They even rang in the new year together. It was enough happiness to fill a lifetime, but it could still never be enough time. Way too soon, they are packing their things and making their way from this fairytale vacation back to their real lives. 

To be fair, their real lives are kind of like a fairytale, too. They get to create life changing art, across multiple platforms, with the people that mean the most to them in this world. If that’s not the dream, then nothing is. 

Some of that might be paused, temporarily, but it’s still their life, and they wouldn’t trade it for anyone else’s. They are so thankful for everything they have.  
  
That doesn’t mean the goodbyes aren’t hard. They’re really fucking hard. Frank wants to drive them to the airport, instead of letting them take an Uber, just so he can cling to every extra second. But if he did that, he wouldn’t be able to resist seeing them all the way to the gate, and kissing Gerard goodbye, in front of everyone. Sadly, he can’t do that.

And as much as he’d love to tell the whole world how happy they are together, they all know the kind of negative attention it could bring. It’s stupid it shouldn’t be that way, now or at any point in history. But unfortunately that’s just reality, so they have to deal with it.  
  
They say their goodbyes outside the cottage instead. Ray promises to be better about staying in touch. They all do. They promise they’ll take more time to discuss the return plans, share news about their independent efforts, and just small talk and shit. 

Frank pulls Gerard aside for a moment. “I have something for you.” He says, handing Gerard a really cool keychain. An anchor cross that looks strikingly familiar. On it is a key.  
  
Gerard looks at it in shock. It can’t be.  
  
“If it wasn’t clear, the key is to my house. And it means you are welcome any time. It means I want you to visit more. What do you think? You think you could be tempted to visit Jersey more?” Frank says.  
  
“That sounds amazing, baby. But I don’t know.” Gerard says.  
  
Frank’s smile falls.  
  
It breaks Gerard’s heart for a second, though he is actually honored that Frank would be that invested. No matter how many times he realizes it, even when the doubts are gone, it’s still a surprise to him that Frank feels that way about him.  
  
But he can’t allow his bluff to make Frank feel sad any longer. "I don't think I'll need to visit very much, since B and I are moving back."  
  
Frank perks right back up, and takes it 10 levels higher. “Wait, really?! That’s awesome! I knew you couldn't stay away. I knew you’d miss Jersey too much.”  
  
“Yeah. Something like that." Gerard says, cupping Frank’s face lovingly, to draw his gaze, making sure he picks up emotion in his eyes. "I miss my home. I've been away from _him_ for too long."  
  
"Way too long." Frank agrees, barely getting the words out, in the rush to get his lips on Gerard’s. 

They say a few more goodbyes, as a group, with lots of hugs. 

Frank and Gerard share several more bittersweet kisses, and shed a few tears as they cling desperately to each other for as long as possible. Even as the Uber pulls up, and Mikey and Ray load the bags, and get in the car, they are still unable to let each other go.  
  
Finally, after a final kiss (or 5) and a few heartfelt “I love you so much's" they part. The tears increase then, for them both, as Gerard gets in the car and the door shuts between them.  
  
All the happiness they have felt over the past week does nothing to stop how much their hearts are breaking in this moment. But it will. The tears will run empty, and their hearts will still be full. The distance will hurt, but knowing what they have transcends that - transcends everything - will get them through.  
  
Frank manages to clear the tears from his eyes, for a moment, as he stands alone in the driveway. He looks down the street to see the Uber disappear from sight.  
  
Just then, his phone chimes. A text. It’s from Gerard. It reads: “I miss you already”  
  
A smile breaks through on Frank’s face as he texts back: “I miss you more”  
  
And just like that, he knows they’re going to be fine. 2021 is going to be a great year.  
  


  
  
  


**Author's Note:**

> I know this isn't the best work, by far. I want to get better. Anyone who reads this, please feel encouraged to leave me critiques or any feedback you like. 
> 
> Thank you so much for reading. It means so much to me.


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